gyrish

a little fuck up

2006-10-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

a little update first.

i'm having my Ns now. left with science, computer, EOA and math paper 2

i'm currently staying at my baby's house. but will be coming back home on thursday. i'm so gonna miss her badly.

last but not lease; I'M STILL CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH MY BABY!!! =))))

anyway, just some simple logis. if you are a pig, you dont go laughing at other pigs. because you are of the same kind. and even if you want to, please remember that you are a pig too.

if you want to comment on others, please look at yourself before you start commenting on others. if you want to comment on others about this thing, then make sure that you dont do the same thing too. and before commenting, please double check if the info you've got is correct. because what you THINK might not be the truth. so dont go around ASSUMING!! it is not my fault that you want to live life in the 70s way, so if my style is different from yours, why not think where the problem lies on first?? you may think that you are always "RIGHT but that is only YOUR THINKING. i'm sure you know the difference from THINK and REALITY. and oh-puh-lease. you are the creater of this shits, so dont come whinning saying that you are so sick and tired of shits. we wont take that anymore. one last thing, the things that you do is DISGUSTING.

2006-09-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY, my name is nicole au zhuo xin! =))

im a very busy person. pls do not disturb me.much appreciated.

i love rachelkohshiyi ONLY. SO EVERYBODY ELSE CAN PISS OFF AND SUCK SHIT.

OMGGG AHAHAHHAHAHA.

im kidding.

i love everybody =))

reminder : im nicoleauzhuoxin =))

went to study today with clique, suat and rachelyeong. ate pizza and back to KAP to study.

okay im very busy with my baby. HAHAHA BYEBYE EVERYONE.

2006-09-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

NICOLEAU!! ((((((((((((((:

Youre right next to me but i still wanna say this,
DONT LOOK SO SADDY AND MOODY! )))):
Im feeling quite sad cos youre looking like that.
(OMG IT RHYMES)

I wanna thank you for everything you've done for me! ((:
All the pleasant surprises!
All the lovely words!
All the precious moments we've spent together!
(:

They all matter alot alot to me okay.

And thank you for the surprise you gave to me this morning. HAHAH so sweet la youu (:

Youre gonna spend one week with meeee!! -beams. But i dont wanna see a saddy moody nicole everyday! SO PLEASE CHEEER UP COS RACHEL IS HERE (:

Last but not least,
thank you for loving me (:

I LOVEEE YOU TOO.

=((

2006-09-27T20:23:00.000+08:00

in the show "PULSE". there was this part this guy told his friend how it feels like when the ghost took his soul away. he said that you wont want to move, you have no strength to anything, you just want to sit there and do nothing. each breath you take, it feels like you are nearer to death. and the next thought that come to your mind, is "DIE". so the remaining energy you have, is to kill yourself. that is how you feel when 100% of your soul is gone.

a) you wont want to move - 20%
b) you have no strength - 20%
c) sit there do nothing - 20%
d) you want to die - 20%
e) you kill yourself - 20%

now i feel 60% of my soul is gone. because i feel A, B and C.

although you are not angry with me, but the text conversation we just had make me feel that you are mad at me. which makes me feel so uncomfortable. i dont know how to explain this feeling because i dont know why and i dont know how i've got those.

last but not lease. i dont want to be the one who upset you.

clique

2006-09-26T09:58:00.000+08:00

i believe that my clique brought a change to my life. i'm always happy when i'm them, other than times when some others is there to bring my mood down. but other than that, i'm always happy. though we all play, but we study. they teaches me works that i dont know how to. compare my work to them, mine's nothing, it's like wasting their time to teach me such a easy question, but they have never felt this way. they too, wish that i can get good results.

during certain times, when i'm all sad and down. they were the ones that stood by my side. comforting me and make me laugh. even times when i choose to fall for the same mistake again, they did not leave me, yet they showed me care and concern that i dont think much people will about thing like that.

my temper is bad and my voice is loud. but this clique accept me for who i am. because we all know that noone is perfect. thank you peeps!!

so once again, i want to thank my clique for always being there for me. even next year when we all goes to a different school, i hope and pray that this clique wont split. (corss fingers)

(names will go by descending order)

AMELIA BULNER!!
you are really one best friend that everyone will die to have. who on earth will really have so much patience?? especially handling things that repeated itself over and over again, you will still be there. i may be older than you, but it seems like i am the only one who always run to you and cry or whatever. i really thank you for all this.

GAYATHRI!!
you are more the one who always make me laugh, the comments you give or the way you react to things. it always make me laugh. i enjoy times that we sit together and laugh at all those stupid things on earth.

HUANG SHUWEN!!
firstly, i want to thank you for bringing this people in to my life. it was through you that i got to know other juniors that i once didnt even bother knowing. but now, i'm so glad that they are in my life. thank you for all the times that you take me in to stay over at your house. thank you for coming down all the way to holland to find me just cos i was sobbing over the phone with you. last but not lease, most importantly, i want to thank you for introducing rachal koh shi yi to me. i guess i wouldn't be so happy now if it wasnt for her. so thank you so much, for everything.

LIM KARMUN!!
from sec 1 until now. there's so many changes in me and you. from the christine au who will never listen to anyone, who gets angry for almost everything, the one that noone really dares talk to (or rather not want to talk to). as we always say, if only i was as easy to talk to when i'm in secondary 1, then life may not have so much changes then. i think this is so so true. but still, my life still change. but one thing i thank god for is that he placed you into my life once again. you are one best friend that i can really confine everything to. you understands me and you are always there to give advise. LIKE AME!! haha. so thank you for understanding me.

ZANETA CHER!!
i never forget about you okayy, i promise i wouldnt. and the same goes to you. dont you ever forget about me alright?? i'll be so damn upset if you do. if please know, i am very very willing to hear your problems and face it together with you. this period of time may not be as great, but i hope you are happy. really. i think your happiness means alot to us. =))

I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU GIRLS SO SO MUCH!!

i hope this friendship will last forever. i still remember times when we talked about our children talking like us, dress like us etc... haha. i'm looking forward to that day. hee

I LOVE YOU, AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!
do you love me??

OH YEAH!!

2006-09-25T08:33:00.000+08:00

i'm like so sleepy now but i want to blog about yesterday.

was suppose to meet baby at 2. BUT!! she reached like dont know what time?? i got so bored till i read almost every single poster and bulletins in the station. can you imagine how bored i got?? but it's all worth it, because i still get to see her =))

headed to town, wanted to watch "imagine me and you". but we missed the 1510 show and the next show is like 1845?? not late what. tmr then show la. haha. so we decided not to watch and took neo prints. not bad i guess. except for one that i look damn chou and one she thinks she looks like one CAL (Chao Ah Lian). but i think she still look as cute and pretty =)) -grin- neo print wil be uploaded only when she scan it. thank you

walked around cine and decided to go taka. on ouro way down, we saw the trailer of "Tucker something must die". while watching, peacefully. HUANG SHUWEN will appear from the back with chang and give me a HUGE scare please. and i think i will fell to B1 if possible. haha. chatted for awhile and walked our seperate ways. oh yeah, we saw something with something. NVM. hahah

oh yeah, so we went taka delifrance. she had her "something fantasy" and i had my hot chocolate. for certain reason, the hot chocolate taste sweeter than usual. -grin- walked to far east, got her lime-green handphone strap.

i love this, i like going out with her on days like sunday, shopping at places like taka, sitting in a cafe. quite peaceful isn't it?? dont you like the idea?? i like the idea of strolling down orchard road of city hall with her, holding hands. just like newly-wed couple, so happy and contented. isn't it sweet?? just the thought of it makes me smile. hee. or maybe sometimes, we will meet up with friends also. drinking coffee or do some get-together at somebody's house, nice right??
okayy, maybe not much people will understand or like it. maybe even rachel won't like it. but i do, just let me dream okayy. haha.

headed to shuwen's house to watch S.I. baby KEPT drooling over jonathan. if i'm not there, i think she will kiss the tv. haha. but i hope he wins too. so baby will be happy. hahah. rather lame.

stayed over at baby's house with shuwen. AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP THE SAME TIME AS THEM WHEN I'M HAVING MY STUDY BREAK. which by suppose mean that i can wake up later. SO!! and i have to do this next friday too =((

alright, i need to go get some sleep now. going school to see baby!! I CANT WAIT!!

baby, sorry for missing the twelve o' clock wishing. but i hope it's still not late to wish you again "HAPPY 1 WEEK!!" this week is simply GREAT!! i cant wait to have life like this with you for god knows how long. I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU BABY!! -kiss-

I LOOVE YOU PLEASE

2006-09-23T23:20:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU PLEASE!! i swear i do.

i may be flirt and all. i may be someone who may only like someone for ahwile. i may, but i wont. in the past, i always make the wrong choice and then regret. lost so many things. not only relationship, friendship too. but whatever it is, i only have one thing to say. it is that i promise you that i will never have a change of heart.

i will never leave you unless you want me to. i'm sorry that i may not be a good girl friend to you but i want you to know that i'm giving all my best to you. i've failed in many relationships and i dont want to include this. i want THIS relationship to last, for as long it allows us to. i want us to be so loving till everyone around us get so envious and all. i want all the times that we spend together be filled with joy and laughter. i want to make you cry, not cos i hurt you but because i make you so glad that you burst into tears. when people ever ask me who is my girlfriend, i will say "my girlfriend is rachel koh shi yi" so proudly, that all of them will know that you are the one. i dont care who love who more. i just want to shout out so loudly that I LOVE YOU!!

and i really miss you much. dont let me see you, if not i will hug you so tightly that you cant even push me away.

I'M CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH RACHEL KOH SHIYI. I KNOW I HAVE SAID IT MANY TIMES. SO?? I'M SO PROUD OF HER PLEASE. =))))))

wooot?

2006-09-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

stayed over at sharon's shouse yesterday. was suppose to study, but we chatted till 1 plus, watch MVP qing ren till 2 plus. we both fell asleep. so we slept. all the way till 1. came home, online and ate. i'm waiting for rachel to wake up. somehow i have this feelin that she wake up already just that she never call or msg me cos she's angry. i dont know. i'm just thinking too much i guess. cos i think i sounded like i'm pissed when i talked to her yesterday. i'm sorry baby. but i wasn't. and i didnt know that i spoke like that until she told me. =(( bad me.

it is 9 days away to N level. i dont want to command about it. wish me luck everyone!! i better get into nursing. if not, i can just you know. nvm.

anyway, i bite the inner part of my mouth. NOT PAINFUL AT ALL WHAT.

i don't know when will be the next time i'll be seeing you but i hope it'll be soon. imu

where'd you go
i miss you so
seems like it's been forever
that you've been gone (to sleep)

=((

2006-09-22T20:39:00.000+08:00

yiying and i

joey. me and shaoyan

annette, me, joey tee and xiao v

today was my last day in school. was suppose to be haveing a so called farewell party or whatever but only half the class attend school. and i slept through the whole day. felt so bad for making dear wait for my msg. dunno if she were but i THINK she is. think only ah. haha

i'll be there when you call me in the middle of the night
i'll keep the rain from falling down into your eye

i just want to be the one who wipe your tears away
there to lend you a shoulder to lean on
be your punching bag when you feel like hitting
let you vent your anger when you are angry
always there for you. standing by

i love her!!

2006-09-22T00:24:00.000+08:00

i'm not going to care what people will/want to say about me. and i want to dedicate this post for you. which is more important then anything else =))

Dear Rachel Koh,
this is so crazzy but i cant really control my own feelings anymore. I MISS YOU. so much, that i'm going mad. and i love you too. i may not say as as often as i am scared that this three words may not mean the same anymore?? but please know that my heart do love you =)) i feel very very honoured to have you as my girlfriend, because you treat me so nice. as i love this feeling. thanks to you!! i know i've said this before but i'm going to say it again. i'll do anything, to make you happy. i promise i'll smile more?? hahahahahaha. i wont fight or angry or anything. i'll just do anything to make you smile =))

you know i cant smile without you,
cant smile without you
i cant laugh
and i cant sing
finding it hard
to do anything.

you came along
just like a song
and brighten my day

NICOLE AU LOVES RACHEL KOH!!

SO

2006-09-21T20:37:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to call the pig. but alot of picking up the phone what. everytime like that. hahaha. so i'm kinda expecting it.

went school today. whoa. zaifi erma and marina never come. SO. i was sitting alone then. had math paper 2 mock exam. was alright i guess. =(( but now as well as i want to do. nvm. i will studying and i will. so must stoping thinking of some people.

went school and study with gaya and shuwen. shu was sitting with chang and i was sitting with gaya. did math and a little tinny winny bit of science. rachel was tired, so shall sent her home first, thinking that i will study at home that will never happen?? heck. i'm kinda tired. so maybe i will turn in early tonight. if she's sleeping early.

thought i get to see her today but it's not enough. only two hours or to be exact, one and a half hour. =(( so i'm missing her badly. BUT SHE WILL BE SLEEPING WHAT!! SSSOOO.

i love it when she play the piano, so nice okayy. cant stand it =))

HAHAHA

2006-09-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

honestly speaking, i just wish that everyday will be like this. yesterday and today is just like, WHOA!!

yesterday was 19th!! HAPPIEST DAY!! cos rachel and i will get together yesterday what. hahaha. i know it's quite fast. but the question just pop out like that. opps. but who cares. as long as we are happy. that's all that matters. SMILE!! cant stop smilling.

anyway, today's our first date!! went town tho. shopped around for wallet. saw a nice one at the project shop. i quite like it. but she will say that it's too thin what. whatever. it's still nice. hee. clique was in town too. didnt go out with them cos i thought they are not going out at first. watched PULSE. another sucky show please. recommanded by our dear gaya. yeah, had dinner and stuff. and home sweet home

msg for you =))
you are really sweet and nice to me, which makes me smile all day long. you are just great. i dont know if i'm really that good for you and i hope you dont mind. sometimes when i see you sad, i really hope i can do something for you. so please tell me okayy. you dont think you are superwomen and dont tell me okayy. nomatter it's good or bad, tell me. promise?? and i promise i'll tell you everything. i love you =))

WEEE

2006-09-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

me and her

i look damn ugly

I LOVE THIS!!

that's suet's finger. look at the connection between her finger and ame's nose

faiz and i

suet, faiz, me and half of ame

sukriah baby and i!!!

my beloved zaneta cher and i

my tongue

i feel for you =)) i really do.

hmm

2006-09-18T02:38:00.000+08:00

okayy, as promised, i will blog. but i'm rather tired. so i shall just blog alittle.

anyway, was suppose to go lex house and stay over to do some catch up. what when i reach her house. she's NOT in. she wont tell me what. thought i'm just kidding about coming over. so i went rachel koh's house instead. managed to catch my indian movie. quite nice, i expected them to get married, as in , see the whole process of how they get married. BUT NO, they just hug and that's the end of the show, like what the hell. hahaha. after the indian movie, we watched "liu xin hua yuan 2" not nice anymore, i only like season 1. much nicer. =))

anyway, we chatted all the way till 7 plus in the morning okayy, like, we were crapping the whole night. and it is RACHEL KOH SHI YI who tickle me okayy.she even stepped on my stomach. how nice?? hee. okayy. i want to sleep already.

2006-09-16T15:36:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder If I'd ever make it through
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue

Cause sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me
And there's no way of breaking free
and then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up wanna give in
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
and everything's alright, everything's alright

When I see you smile I can face the world
Oh you know I can do anything
When I see you smile I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do
What the touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling, I don't feel it
Cause you're here with me now
I wanna ask you baby
It's all I¹ll ever need, All I'll ever need

When I see you smile I can face the world
Oh you know I can do anything
When I see you smile I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile baby
Baby when I see you smile at me

Sometimes I wanna give up I wanna give in
I wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby
And everything's alright
Hey everything's alright
It's alright

When I see you smile I can face the world
Oh you know I can do anything
When I see you smile I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile Yeah I can face the world
Oh you know I can do anything now

When I see you smile Oh yeah
Baby when I see you smile
Smile at me

anyway, guess what, i just woke up. i thought i will wake up at 12 plus 1. BUT. alot of waking up what. i dont think i will wake up until i heard my phone ringing. i was like fainted please. i had like 6 missed calls but i just didnt get to hear it. but i slept at 5. so you cant blame me. HAHAHA. lame la.

i'm so proud of myself please. i didnt the whole of yesterday!! except for one red bean bun which sucks totally. that is why i never buy dim sum at this stalls. the bun is so damn hard please and it's not sweet. whatever. was like freaking hungry yesterday but dont know why i just didnt want to eat. hahah. i'm just too lazy to cook. was talking on the phone and i didnt want to put down. lazy la. hahahaahaha. whatever

anyway, i cant stand the picture. i think i look damn irritating. if i'm just a passerby and saw this photo. i will really want to punch that person can. i think i look fugly. whatever.

im 16 days away from my N level. WHOA!! and i dont think i'm studying hard enough if i want to ace everything. what the hell can. hate it when i will tell myself that i must study this and that, but end up only managed to finnish one chapter of whatever. get what i mean?? so shit can.

and now, i cant really concentrate. dont get it wrong. i'm not blaming anyone. it's just myself =)) but it's alright i guess. this thoughts can de-stress me. then i can study well. WEEE.

OH

2006-09-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

SO!! i dont know howmany time i need to blog today but it's okayy.

anyhow, today was DAMN SCREWED UP!! it's like. late for school, ez-link got confiscated, got caught in the rain, last to finnish my english paper blah blah blah blah. was quite pissed off actually. was having mood swing, dont know why. or maybe i know why. haha. face was damn black till you called =)) and i just cant stop smiling.

i dunno what to say but i'm really happy. and i love this feelings. =)))))))))

WEEEEEE

2006-09-15T21:10:00.000+08:00

I LOVE RACHEL KOH!!!!!!!!

2006-09-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

WHY IS RACHELKOHSHIYI SO DAMN NICE?

Nicole and Shuwen! (:

ERRRRRR. Thanks Shuwen :D

Hahaha this blog skin super niceeee right. Cos RACHELKOHSHIYI made it what! Haha.

Okay BYEBYE NICOLE AU Z--- X--. HAHA your chinese name damn nice please. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha :D :D :D

what more can i say

2006-09-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

I'M A HAPPY GIRL NOW!!!

happy happy happy happpy =))

FUCK IT

2006-09-14T21:56:00.000+08:00

my goodness. IF YOU CANNOT READ!! THEN I'M OH-SO-SORRY. apparently i've already said on my blog SO BIG-LY that i've change e-mail address because i lost my password. so why you kept asking me to read the e-mail you sent to my old account, I DONT KNOW. most probably you think that i've lying. fuck it la. think whatever you want to. i fuck care. i've already said, i'm a disappointment. so no point hoping anything from me also. so you can stop messaging me and kept telling me that your disappointed or whatever because i didnt reply your e-mail. whatever la

this whole damn thing is driving me nuts. i dont get it, like. cant you just leave me alone?? isnt it obvious enough that i dont want to have anything to do with church anymore?? if you think by looking me up and talk to me will change my mind, i'm sorry but i have to tell you the truth and it is that it wont help. so the best thing is to leave each other alone. but if you want to continue getting hurt and shock or whaterv fuck. it's your business then. i cant to botherd. and yes, you've lost me as a friend. now that you know, you can stop thinking about it already. to think about it. we aint really that close exactly, so you dont have to be so upset.

some people just love to act like they know someone so well. i mean, if you dont then just let it be the way it is. knowing something more than some people do doesnt mean you know ALOT.

gosh, everything is so FUCK-ed up.

only you can make me smile =))

oh shit

2006-09-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

dont know it's just my com or there is something wrong with the skin. now my blog look damn screwed. whatever.

met buddy today. was really nice meeting her again. feel so good. cuz at lease we are still friend =)) we were suppose to study but as usual. we will do all kinds of things other than studying. lucky tmr is only pratical. if it's something more than that. HMM. i can just cry now. whatever. she needs to go home and study. so i drag her to take bus with me to bugis then take train at city hall. hahhaha. had dinner at shu's house, shigu cooked curry rice. NICE!!! and i was DAMN full after that. it's alot okayy. anyway, did nothing at her house except for looking at the year book again and change blogskin. hahhaa. this skin is quite nice actually, but something's wrong with it. AARRGG.

2006-09-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

nicole thinks that shuwen is the cutest!!!!

DAMN FUNNY!!

2006-09-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

look at this photo. DAMN FUNNY PLEASE.

from left
ame, km, gaya, me, zan, mel and chloe

and the story goes like this,

mel: (to gaya) HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY TIGER??

gaya: (about to cry) but... but i want to play with tiger (tears in the eyes)

ame: (to mel) must you be so angry??

km: ay, take photo eh!!

me: (it's only tiger please)

zan: chill la mel, it's only tiger right??

chloe: (to mel). ya, dont angry la.

and they all take photo happily ever after without tiger

-the end-

damn shit

2006-09-12T21:22:00.000+08:00

today's paper was like DAMN EASY?? it's kinda like wasting my time actually. the paper duration was is 1 hour and 15 minutes, but i finnish the paper in 45min. like WTF?? and i have to sit in the fucking COLD room and stare blankly at the screen or green grass patch for half an hour. was like curse and swearing with aravin. hahah. whatever.

anyhow, didnt get to study much cuz i was so jix about the HOT AIR OKAYY. we sat DIRECTLY UNDER the fan, the fan was on FULL BLAZE. but none of us can feel any WIND. AARRGG. sitting there alone makes me perspire like shit.

think and say whatever you want. i dont give a fuck!! and dont come and blame me when you didnt get the right informatin. and if i makes you sick, then fuck care me.

another random day

2006-09-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

it's so WTF!! Mr Yee just decided that he shall not record me as a school team member. like what the hell?? i mean, just because i did not represent school to play for west zone?? i mean, it was because i got suspended right?? so lame can?? so it's not like i'm not good enough to be in the school team, it's because i was suspended and the fucking rule says that i have to be withdraw from the school team. LAME!!

and honestly speaking, i'm so sick and tired of living up for others. i just dont want to give a fuck to how people's going to think about me. i mean, it's my life. if i want to change or stuff, i just change. i cant be botherd to explaint to people what and why. if i disappoint you in the way i am, then i'm sorry. you cant have things going the way you want and expect sometimes. live with it!!

and i have this message for someone out there,

THANK YOU so much for being such a great friend. i think i will NEVER know this is the way you actually feel about me. it was out of my expection. but dont you worry, i am so not going to call you up and cry to you or whatever, i am going to leave it the way it is. and if you continue to live with that air head, all i have to say is "all the best". now that i think about it, i've already lose you as friend. it's not only about HOW you want to continue this friendship. the point is, you are not even being true to me, then what's no point. i think by ending this friendship will do us good. no more burden for you and no more expections for you. and after all, i seriously think that your quite a bitch =))

I DONT WANT TO T-A-L-K!!

I LOVE LUCY LIU!!

2006-09-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

OMIGOSH!! LUCY LIU IS MAKING ME GIDDY. she's so hot please!!! cant stand it, must sit!! shit, this is damn lame. like not funny at all. whatever

anyway, i want to blog about claudia(my step-sister). CANNOT TAHAN ANYMORE!! i dont understand how my father can actually tolerate her. THANK GOD i dont stay with her. i think i will just kill her in the middle of the night while she's sleeping.

firstly, she have NO MANNERS, AT ALL. as a chinese, in the AU family somemore, table manners is the lease respect you should have. NO messaging if there's still someone older at the table, NO rejecting of food, especially when someone older is taking food for you, left hand should be placed on the table at ALL time when you are eating. NO leaving of table if the elders is still at the table. this few basic manner, which i think a chinese should always know, should be a habit already and not a chore. BUT WHY IS IT THAT SHE CANT PRACTISE IT AT ALL?? because she's so damn spoiled. spoiled bread. honestly speaking, she is just a small version of her mother.

secondly, NO RESPECT FOR ELDERS. not that i'm very old but i'm still older okayy. and i wont take the lame excuse such as "she's still young". so what if she's young?? in fact, not young already okayy. 10 years ols already. if this kind of basic manners and respect she also cannot follow, i wonder how is she going to live in hongkong. people there will just beat her up i tell you. AARRGG. and sometimes, those attitude of hers is really intoleratatble okayy, if she's my pure sister, i think i will bitch slap her a donkey years ago. when i look at her, i can already picture her when she's older. she'll be a BIMBO. bim bo means pretty with no brain right?? SORRY!! she's not a pure bimbo. she's the second part of bimbo please. and she dont eat, i dont understand why also. she says that she's on a diet. i dont know she diet for what "pi" okayy. last week when we go yam cha, with have it with my uncle long and his family. he have two daughter, one is 5 and the other is 10. which is same age as claudia (primary 4). BUT, she's half a head taller than claudia, and the 5 years old one is at the same height as claudia. tell me what is this now.

WTF!!

2006-09-10T01:43:00.000+08:00

FIRSTLY, I WANT TO THANK HUANG SHUWEN FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS BLOG, AND ALSO THANKS TO GAYA FOR TEACHING SHUWEN HWO TO CHANEG BLOGSKINS AND STUFF. THANKS TO THE BOTH OF YOU =))

this is one important reminder to people who is forgetful. there's two solution.

1) write down all your usernames and password on a piece of paper or save it in your phone.

2) save your password and username in your computer BUT never let your friends use the com cuz you would need to log out.

dont think there's a need so. i'll tell you why you need to. i have a living example.

yesterday, karmun and gaya accompanied me home to get something before we head to karmun's house. but before we leave the house, gaya and karmun wanted to use the com. such a kind soul like me, will of cuz let them use. meaning i have to log out of my friendster and sign out of msn. because mine is auto log in and auto sign in. okayy, everyone's happy. watch miss swan, chatted with people. everything was fine. UNTIL NOW!! i forgot my msn password. so i cant log in. msn suggested they send the new password to me old alternate account. which is my old account. BUT. i forgot my old account's password too. OH MY GOD!! i was so damn jix please. so now, i'm down with no choice but to create a new account. it's written at the profile columne so just add it up yourself, thank you =))

anyway, i have two message for a group of people and to a person.

to a person (R.Y)

just incase you think that i still like you, SORRY!! dont think so much please. i dont understand your thinking. i really dont and i can never do. you want to act like you dont care of whatsoever, i dont give a fuck. just incase you think that the reason why i'm messaging you and talking to you is because i treat you as my friend and i want to keep this friendship. so you can stop all your wild thinking. when your surounding involves me. it's nolonger you alone. it consist of me too, so please spare a thought for me when before you want to do all your staring and ignoring. if you think that it makes you cool to me, SORRY!! you dream on. i dont understand why am i trying to save this friendship when you are there acting like i'm doom without you. get this into your head, MY FEELINGS FOR YOU AINT THRER ANYMORE AND IT WILL NEVER COME BACK. SO YOU CAN STOP GIVING ME THOSE FUCKING ATTITIUDE THAT I DONT DESERVE. thank you

and this is for the group of people,

ok, i know that you guy have been looking for me and have been trying very hard to contact me, i'm sorry that i have been avoiding your calls ans messages. the reason why is that, i want to get away for awhile. because i just dont feel excited anymore. and i dont want to act like i'm all fine and stuff. the reason why i dont want to talk to you guys is because i know what are you going to say and i dont want to hear it. i thanl those poeple who mesasged me and ask me how have i been, even those that seldom message me, messaged me too. but i'm sorry guys, i'm a disappointment. i really dont want to talk about it now, so dont bother looking me up and stuff. because i wont talk to you. yah. no hard feeling. i think it's all human that we wont want to talk about stuff like that, let alone to anyone about it. i'll still talk to you guys, but about this matter, no. i hope you understand and leave me alone.

=))

2006-09-06T00:22:00.000+08:00

alright, i'm feeling really great now. because i finally did what's right, and that is to tell shu how i really and now, we have all make things clear. i know i have said it many times, but still. I LOVE YOU HUANG SHUWEN!! i'm really thankful for this clique, that we could sit down and settle things maturely. and not having some not-involve to get her butt in this matter and wants to do the, "helping". CHILDISH!! imagine things went this way, i dont think shu and i will be able to get this whole matter done. in the first place, shu dont even want you to get involve, so why you want to "help", i don't understand. it's not like you know us very well, and the most important part, i dont think you know shu well enough to speak up for her. get it??

5 Sep 06, 18:46

karen: hey whatever ur name is christine or nicole au! LISTEN UP..dun say i turn u off when ure turning all ur friends off okay! and all ur blog abt shuwen..i dun see why u have so much comments abt evt! if ure bored or something then i think u should do smth and thats study..cos i feel sick seeing u in diff sec uniform every year. thats all!

apparently, this whatevr karen make no sense at all in this tag. firstly, she do not know what's going on exactly, secondly, she's acting like she knows me very well. but in the end, she's doing nothing but making a fool out of herself. does she even know what's the reason behind all this things?? no. but she wants to act like she knows every single detail. she talk like she is shuwen's girlfriend or something. SORRY!! no chance please, just incase she didnt know, shuwen and i is more then what she think we are.(sorry shuwen that i have to mention this. but you should know why i say it) see, i bet she dont know about this. so this gives her one more reason to stop harrasing shuwen and give shuwen up. because her turn will never come. HA. one stupidest thing to do on earth is to act like you know someone well when you actually know nil about that person? it's like, how often do you actually see me? how much do you know about me? how many times have you actually talked to me? many times? no. alot? no. very often?? also no. now that you get the point straight, so talking like you know me well when you know nuts about my life and who i am. who do you think you are to tell me what to do? talk about studies, oh puh-lease. you talk like your in NUS. wait till that day come when you can get into NUS then you come and tell me to study. and makes you think that i never study. see, you dont know my life, you dont know nothing. yet you talk like i wil do anything other than studying. if shuwen is not important to me, i dont let this whole issue bother me even when it comes to studies. so please do some research before you come to my blog and talk cock. and what? sick and tired of seeing me in different uniform every year?? you tell me now, how may times did you see me ever since 2002?? you tell me now. every year?? you talk like i have so much time to change school every year. for your info, i was enrolled into this school only in 05, so how are you going to explain about seeing me in different uniform every year, i have no idea. do you know what have i been doing in school? no. you know nothing. so you can jolly well shut yout bloody mouth and stop coming to my blog and type some senseless shit.

and honestly, i have one thing that i want to make clear with you. you went arouond telling people that you threw your name tag at me and the nametag cut my eyebrown. hmm. may i know when did that happen?? i'm very curious, ever since the first time i heard about this. and i really want to find out the truth. because i dont recall having such a thing happened. you see, there's only one scar on my eye brown, and that scar have been with me since i'm born. soooo, your trying to say that you cut my eye brown in my mum's womb?? and dont say that the scar is gone already, cuz in the first please, if the cut is actually so deep that it leaves a scar, it must be bleeding alot. BUT, how come i dont remember having my eye brown bleeding and how come the teachers dont know about it?? i really wonder. well, i see what you have to say now. you like to defend for others right?? why not think about how you shoudl defend your lies first??

get the point straight please

2006-09-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

first thing i want to talk about is the bloody report about saint margs uniform was rated the "FIRST ugliest uniform" in Singapore. i bet they surveyed those pupils with narrow minded pea brains?? dont say that i'm wrong because this is how you think of st margs. the only reason why you say that st margs uniform is ugly is just because it's polka-dotted. HELLO?? can you think beyond that?? in the first place, i dont see anything wrong with those dots. just incase you think that the reason why i say this is because i was a st margs girl. NO, yes, N-O "NO". when i know that i was posted to st margarets, i was so upset because i really really hated the uniform. BUT, when i put the uniform on for the first time, I WAS SO PROUD OF THE UNIFORM. it's like the "uniform of pride". i know this sounds exaggerating but that was really how i felt, and until today, my feeling for the uniform remains the same. respect and proud.

okayy, enough of that. i'm going to proceed to the second point.

shuwen, other than the word disappointment, i dont know what else should i say. what did you say in your latest entry? we dont care?? we never really care about you?? if you say that we did not, what is those things that we're doing when your upset, angry, pissed and whatever?? if that is not CARE, would you tell me what is it?? you know how selfish you are?? just because our care and concern doesnt meet your expectation, just because you have different perspective towards the word "care", so your actually placing your judgement down that we dont "care"?? no offence tho, but how much do you know about the level of tolerance we reserved for you?? you dont know. and do you want to know why?? for one simple reason, because you have never thought about this, you think that this is definate. you think that we should tolerate, or maybe to you, you dont even see that there's anything wrong. yet all the time, we kept quiet, because we know that you will take it as an offence. but because we are your true friends, we accept you for who you are, that is why we tolerate again and again. but that shoudlnt be the reason why we should let this carry on. accpeting is one thing, whether we should let this carry on, is another thing. the way you constantly throwing your temper, getting angry for minor things, violating other's privacy is something you should stop. you cant have everything your way, we are a clique, not individuals. spare a thought for us, will you??

and the cause of you feeling left out is not even our fault, because we didnt even leave you out in the first palce and never intend to. do you know how upset we are when we, as your close friends, cant make you that happy. but only when kayminn appears, then you starts to smile and stuff?? and do you know how annoying it is when kayminn always come along when we goes out?? i mean, cant it be once we spend time together?? alone?? just the few of us?? i really dont like it whenever we goes out, kayminn would have to come, and the both of you will just walk behind us. it's not that we dont want to talk to you okayy, is that we dont want to disturb. can you at lease undertsand this part?? it's not that i dont like kayminn. it is just that, we want to spend time alone with you??

omg, i think i sounded damn jix, infact, i am. whatevr, i really hope things will get into your head. we are your friends, we dont condemn you. because we all love you.

.

2006-09-03T15:25:00.000+08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	33%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|	16%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|	16%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|	16%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	44%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

trait snapshot:
messy, outgoing, open, self revealing, ambivalent about chaos, unpredictable, not good at saving money, social, likes large parties, likes to stand out, risk taker, quick to make friends, does not like to be alone, rash, fame seeking, sarcastic, craves attention, social chameleon, low self control, food lover, not rule conscious, weird, assertive, not a perfectionist, anti-authority, thrill seeker, vain, likes to fit in, reckless, emotionally sensitive, leisurely, trusting

why is that so??

2006-09-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

ok. you are my friend. a friend that i DO care for. so dont think that i dont, even after this post. Because whatever i'm going to say, is not going against you, but just some point of view that i think you should know. it may not be pleasing to the eye, but i think as a friend, if i dont let you know, then i am not a true friend anymore. i seriously hope you'll understand this. because i think what makes a good friend is to be there for her friends and help her friends with what they need and not what they wants. even when sometimes, it may cause misunderstanding and stuff, but that shouldnt be an excuse for not helping =))

well you know, somethings is not very nice to say it out like that, but pardon me for blogging it instead of telling you face to face. becasue i wouldnt be able to say it out. but once again, i want to emphasize that whatever i'm going to write contains NO hard feelings but just ABSOLUTELY PURE love and concern.

firstly, i want to tell you that i dont agree on the things that you said in your blog. because it is NOT true that we dont care about you. think about it, if we really dont care. what makes you think we bother to ask karmun "what happen to shuwen?" or "is she alright??" i mean, if we're just acting, we dont need to ask behind your back, just ask you right into your face, right?? so we do care. and sometimes, it's not that we dont want to tell you stuff. it just that sometimes, you just dont want to tell everyone. and i bet sometimes you also have somethings that you dont want to tell everyone?? so i dont think you should get angry when we dont tell you stuff, cuz it is one's freedom to tell whoever she wants?? sometimes, it is not very important stuff, that is why we say "it's nothing" when you ask "what thing" but you will get angry. see my point?? it is not that we dont want to tel you, it is simply because it's not something so big deal to repeat. i mean if you dont want to miss it, the pay attention to what we say. right?? like, dont ask after we finnish the whole conversation. yepp.

the other thing is, you are actually quite self-centerd. if you dont realise, it is the things you say. sometimes those things that you say really can hurt someone's feeling. yes, you are straight forward, about that we know and we understand that this is the way you are. that is why we accept it. but what about those people taht dont know you that well?? although it is impossible to please everyone. but why not stop and think, is it better to think how would people feel? or to just say whatever you feel like and dont care?? get what i mean?? it's like, when you make someone happy, you yourself also happy. isn't it better this way?? rather then everyone's pissed?? you would like it to right?? i'm not saying that everything you say is hurtful. but quite a number of times. understand??

and, it is a freedom for everyone to dislike some people. it is not a crime or whatever. and most of the time, it is because of misunderstanding, agree?? so why not sort things out peacefully?? then staring or spaming on their blog?? have you ever thought of it? that when you dont like somebody, at the same time. there is people who dislike us too?? would you ratehr have a friend or havae an enemy?? of cuz friend right?? because the momst friends you have, the merrier you get. agree? so the meesage i'm sneding across is that, dont keep going around finding trouble with people. most of the time, you'll be happier when you ignore those irritating people.

oen last thing, you know, it's kinda annoying the way you have to compare about so much things?? it's like, sometimes it's just a casual comment, like "i'm tired", "i'm sleepy" etc. like just casual things like that. we didnt mean to say that to start a debate session? but how come we always ened up debating is because you will say things like "i worse okayy!!" things like that?? and it's ratehr annoying, like. we are not even comparing. it's just a casual comment. so dont take it too hard aright?? and i am sorry that i dont tell you all this earlier on. the reason behind it is because i knwo you will take it as an offense and may start an arguement with me?? that is why i did not say anything. but i do admit that i was quite irriated by you sometimes. otehr then that, you have been a very great friend to me, the things you do, like coming all the way down to holland to find me the other time?? yeah, see, you are a very sweet girl. so dont let your weak points cover it, okayy??

last but not lease. i hope you'll catch this post and change. and of cuz, if you have anything that your not happy with me, do tell me too. =))

.

2006-08-31T21:03:00.000+08:00

right, i read someone's blog just now. in her blog, she mentioned someone. adn that someone, is quite a special person to me. we could be good friends tho, if she's still around. i think?? but too bad, ii neevr knew how to cherish things when thay are mine. i never think for the future when i have something with me. but when i lose them, THEN i'll start to think. what if i wasnt like that the other time, what if i treat her nicer etc. blah blah blah. all kinds of things.

and, this is how i feel towards Mrs C Lee. you know, things would be better if i listen to her?? i would not be expelled from school and ended up as where and what i am in now, not that i dont like the way i am now, but you know. i'm talking about, things could be better. then i wouldnt have to go through so much unnecessary stuff. Mrs Lee was nice and kind to me, other then the scolding parts. if i could grow up earlier, know how to think and know how to make decision on my own. i could have stayed in st margs. well, of cuz. i didnt get to live life the way i wish i would. so that should be a reminder to me. a reminder to me that i should not take things for granted. before i make any choice, think for not only THIS moment, but also for the future.

you know it's funny, whenever you want to abort something. before confirmation, you'll say to yourself, "it's okayy. i dont want it or need it anyway". then you think again, what about next time?? will i want it next time?? then you'll answer "nah, i dont think so." because you've placed what happened infront of anything. so even when you think for the later part, you will have to go through the "what just happend" part. with me so far?? i hope so. okayy, so in conclusion, treasure what you have now. this five word may be so common, infact it is, in the teory and the practical way. so, just do what you have to do to stay away from "regret" =))

what should i do??

2006-08-29T19:39:00.000+08:00

i have loads of things that i want to say, but they are things that nobody should know. because i dont want anyone to ask me about it. so i'll just blog about it since i dont think much people reads my blog. whatever. it's not like we've mentioned it recently. so what lead all this thinking and emotions?? i have no idea. and honestly speaking, i am not so sure if it is because of N level that is why i feel so emotional and stresss, or there is really problems.

fei ji yi li kai ji chang
ni xuan zhe le qian wang ni de fang xiang
bu zai mi wang
wang le wo men ai de guo wang
wanag le wo gei ni de shang
xue hui jian qiang

cong qian de wo bu dong ni xi sheng duo da
wei wo shi qu peng you bu jiang
hai fang qi le suo you meng xiang
jue de mei zhen yang
bu hui jiang xin bi xin qu siang
rang ni man man man man shi qu le xi wang

neng bu neng gou zai gei wo ji hui hao hao de ai ni
wo hui zi xi de ling ting
ni dui wo suo de yi yan yi yu
wo hui xue hui qu kong zhi pi qi bu rang ni shang xin
dui ni hao hao de qu zhen xi
qing ni xiang xing wo de xin hai shi ai ni

wo xiang zai cong lai yi ci
hui dao guo qu mi nu ni de shang
mei na zhong shi
zhen me zuo cai neng gou ting zhi
hou hui jing shang ni ru ci
bu zai fang si

wei he zhong dao shi qu cai dong de nan guo
dang ni zai wo sheng bian de shi hou
zhong shi wei wo mo mo shou hou
dou shi wei wo de cuo
cuo guo zhe nan de de yong you
jiu rang ni ai wo de xin man man liu zou

neng bu neng gou zai gei wo ji hui hao hao de ai ni
wo hui zi si de ling ting
ni dui wo suo de yi yan yi yu
wo hui xue hui qu kong zhi pi qi bu rang ni shang xin
dui ni hao hao de qu zhen xi
qing ni xiang xing wo de xin hai shi ai ni

if only i could

39 DAYS MORE

2006-08-28T18:03:00.000+08:00

yes. i'm left with 39 days. to end of N level. which is end of my SECONDARY SCHOOL!! which suppose to end 2 years ago. SO!!

bump into sangeetha that day, my st margs classmate. so we were having our casual talk, then i pop this question, "so how's school?" and she answer me this, "huh?? i finnish school already!". NOT FAST WHAT. i haven even graduate from secondary school she graduate ITE already. HHHEEEEEMMMMMM.

well, back to the point, graduate. should i feel relieved? or bu she de? this secondary school life. this care-free feeling. all the fun and stupid spastic things. after this 39 days. i'm no longer a secondary school kid. okayy, it's weird, i dont know what to say. forget it.

prelim suck

2006-08-22T18:29:00.001+08:00

YES!! PRELIM SUCK BIG TIME!! hahaha. whatever. and i'm kinda irritated with my mum listening to 93.3fm, no offence to anyone out there that listen to this radio station. it just about my mum.

oh yeah, as i was saying. prelim. i say it suckk. and i did badly for it. ok, maybe the problem lies on me. i dont know what's going wrong but my results has been depproving. i dont even get to be first in any subject for goodness sake!! second for english?? COME ON!! and where is justice? how dare you not studying and copy answer yet get amost the same reslut as me?? HOW FAIR HUH??

I PRAY TO FATHER THAT THE INSPECTOR WILL STAND BESIDE YOU THROUGH OUT ALL OF N LEVEL PAPERS!! THEN I SEE HOW YOU CHEAT!! shameless!!

anyway, i was studying in serene just now. saw rachel. i didnt say hi at first because i thought she will go to the washroom or something, so if she walk pass i can say hi to her. ok, she did walk pass me. but she did not look at me and i am so damn sure that she knows that i'm here. dont ask me what makes me so sure or questions similar. back to the point, so we missed the second hi. it's alright. i decided to go home instead beause i was not concentrating and i kinda want to go home early. so i packed up and went off before rachel came back. but when i was at the bus stop, i saw her walking towards the bus stop. i pretended to be looking at my mp3. waiting for her arrival to the bus stop so i can say hi to her. BUT!! when i looked up, she stood quite a distance away, beside some man. alright, her bus came. she just walked pass me AGAIN!! just walk pass me and go up the bus. WHY AH??

weird isnt it?? why must ignore me?? i thought we were friends. but i am wrong?? i'm quite bothered about it actually. because i quite want to keep this friendship with her. but it seems like she dont really feel the same way as i do?? how sad. =((

whoa

2006-08-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

okayy. just a quick update of what happened for the last five days. nothing much actually, just serened all the way for studying. was having prelim tho. however, due to stress, lack of sleep and not enough water in my body. fell sick. have that stupid block nose that make my voice so damn dumb, sore throat that hurts whenever i cough or sneeze and yeah, cough. and becuase of all this unnecessary thingy, i kinda had my mood swing. feeling tired and dont feel like doing anything. all i want to do is, to sit there and stone all the way. but of cuz, all this stop today. why?? BECAUSE IT IS SATURDAY!! MEET GOD DAY!!

today's praise was damn cool. i like the second one. the song brought the whole church to the highest point. really, this was how cool the praise was. hahaha. alright, the surmon was the best of all time. today's surmon is more TEACHY and not so PREACHY. with the companion of the HOLY SPIRITY. hahaha. quite funny. invented by pastor jeff. hahaha. anyway, the surmon was about obeying and honoring your parents. serve your employer with respect and fear. i quite like the whole thingy actually. haha.

okayy. this paragraph is just more of like my thought.

well now. i feel like a total loser. the worse friend ever. why?? because i dont know what can i do or shall i do to help you. all i can say is that you make me feel like a failure. a big one. you are my friend, one of my closest friend. yet i wasnt there to help you. and now, your falling deeper and deeper. how?? tell me what can i do?? serious. i would do anything to help. i dont understand how can you be so selfish. you think that this is just about you?? NO. your also hurting those who cares for you please. you know, whenever the thought of what is going to happen to you. i will just want to cry?? because i cant do anything to pull you out. you wont even tell me what's going on in your life. here i am, holding on to your hand, trying to keep everything in hand. but there you are, doing everything to hurt yourself. i dont know how i can tell you this but i would just pray that you know that i am always here for you, nomatter where, nomatter when, just like before.

YEAH!!

2006-08-15T12:17:00.000+08:00

okayy. once again, god shows that he is real. what says so??

if you didnt know, i'm very bad in math. i'm probably the only hongkonger that is bad in math. however, i was sitting for my math paper 1 (prelim). was quite worried though course they always say that math paper 1 is damn difficult. BUT!! god blessed me with lots and lots of wisdom so the paper appeared rather easy to me actually =)) thank you father!!

though i skipped one question but it's only 1 mark. so it shouldnt be that bad i guess. haha. anyway, i've counted it all. i think i aced it. HAHAHAHA. i really hope so.

and tmr's computer. BORING!! it's my most hated subject.

52 days more to "END OF N LEVEL"!!!!!!!!!!

TODAY IS A CRAZY DAY

2006-08-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

GOODNESS!! today is just full of things that's so not expected!! hahaha.

okayy, being honest. i wasnt feeling very excited today. more of like tired and stuff, maybe because i didnt sleep well and early yesterday night. slept at like 4 in the morning, was chatting with mum. =)) so today during P&W. i was like yawning. OPPS. bleah. however, god worked on me and i was all attentive for sermon. WOOHOO!! hee.

TODAY'S SERVICE WAS AMAZING!!! the topic is about LIFE. a new life you have with god. WHOA!!! so cool can. and it was really a waste that julia cant make it. because today's service is really for her. i think it speak of her alot. hmmm. so i pray that she'll be able to come soon. getting jix. hahahah.

had our dinner at Burger King. MY GOODNESS!! it's the funniest and the most embarrasing moment ever. there was this tray of fries beside us. and the couple was looking outside and this is what happened;

me: WAH, not alot what.
claire: i dare you take one.
me: (quickly take one)
claire and sandy: (shocked at my action)
me: (looked away and started laughing)

and the couple actually found out that we took their fries!! this is SO embarrasing. they started laughing, and we also laughing. so the five of us were like. laughing like mad cow. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. and ended knowing that the girl was actually my friend. so rather, school mate. she's from my batch in st margs tho. so after knowing it. she kept asking if we want more fries. HAHAHAH. it's damn funny please. hhaha.

so we went off to join the others at pangya. was quite dead tho. so we decided to go home after awhile.

and honestly speaking, i was really shock when claire and i counted out that we actually knew each other for 7 YEARS!! like, SSOOOO LLLOOONNNGGG!!! hahah. okayy, you may know someone more that 7 years but i think it's EXTRA shocking to me that in this 7 years, god has been putting each of us together for so many years. from the same primary school, to the same secondary school. and now, the most wonderful place, THE SAME CHURCH!! i simply love this whole thing. HAHAHA. i think god's really trying to use us in some ways. SSSOOOO CCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL!!

oh

2006-08-02T09:10:00.000+08:00

was reading through my past post. ever since the first day i have this blog. which is back from 2004 till now. the whole procces. and i feel like killing myself now. cant believe that i say all those "lolx, ohx, ahx, lahx, lohx," DAMN DISGUSTING!!!! the stupid Xs. i feel like killing myself. i think i'm damn flirt, cuz i will change gf and to every gf i will say the same thing. what love you always. BULL SHIT!! it's crazy. THANK GOD i'm not like that anymore. but when i look back at all the post about church. i want to be like that again. where i will be all excited for CG, SVC. all this. so envy can, i wan those kind of excitment again!!

and i think those life i lead before i have school totally sucks. because my life was very screwed. like really really screwed. with all the lesbianism, smoking, clubbings. aarrgg. basically it's no life. so thank god for changing my life =))

WHOAED!!

2006-07-30T12:45:00.000+08:00

know what?? i'm really astonised by GOD's love. love us so much that he give jesus. and jesus, love us SO much, that his willing to give up heaven, to give up all the luxury he have. to come down to earth, to save us, from all of our sins. Even when people mock him, spit at him, humiliate him, beat him, torture him. he dont care. all he want is us to be saved. would you ever do that for anyone?? would you?? NO!! yet this is how much god loves us.

but sad to say. not everyone understand this point. just this simple concept. it is really funny how contradicting people is becoming. here they are saying that they want to go heaven, they wants to be good. BUT, they dont want to accept jesus. get my point now?? WAKE UP!! jesus, is the only way, the truth and the light. there is no other way you can go heaven, get this simple point?? and there is no point helping all the grandma across the road, no point throwing all the rubbish into the bin, no point helping all the grandpa to pick up orange. life is not just that people.

yesterday during seed, den said something that i've really came to understand in a clearer view. whatever we christians do now. is not only for now, it's for our eternity in heaven. you can be the smartest, healthiest or richest guy on earth. BUT SO WHAT?? you cant being all this to heaven. all this will only last you until the day you die. get my point now?? so why so stupid?? why not do something the glorifies him name?? your actually gaining credits in heaven. get this point?? and dont you worry that you wont have time. because god said it before, if you give him your time, he will give you back even more then you give him. just trust in him??

right

2006-07-28T14:48:00.000+08:00

alright. i know this isnt good and yeah, it's not good. but please understand?? that this is the greatest achievement i've ever had so far in this 18++ years of my whole entire life??

according to sandy and much more tests, it has result out that i am someone who is WITHOUT patience. read the word, it is with-OUT. yeah. so i'm not someone whom you dont want her to wait for you on an outing, not someone whom you want to irritate her by repeating whatever she says, not someone whom you want to ask her to repeat what she just said a minute ago, not the girl whom you think of like any other girls. because by doing so, she might just kick your ass or head-butt you in anytime.

see, this is the way i am. so now, picture me in this class. with people who has NO respect for anyone, IN-CONSIDERATE. a class that doesnt listens. come to think about it not even once. and GOD didnt like it, so he place me in this class. to test my patience. OH WELL, i dont know if i did well but i think i aced the tolarate part =))

if i would turn back time, i will never turn crk, i will never mix with the bad company, i will study very well for my studies. only then, i can stay in st margs, then i wont have to leave, then i wont have to come to this school. i think the school is okayy. but definately not for my class. how can any one be like this?? no words could ever describe how horrible this people is. i really want to call them beast but it's a little cruel so decided not to. and the only word i can find that has the closest describesion about how i feel about the class is "DISGUSTED" i really am.

that is why i dont attend school often, because i cant even study in class. the people is out of control. the practically shouts across the class while talking to their friend whose actually seated only next to him. do you find the need to shout?? no. but he was trying to catch attention. well, he has got mine, not in the admiring way tho. i find him ULTRA CHILDISH. they throw rubbish wherever they like, and expect the person on duty to do everything. yes, the person on duty is to help keep the class clean, but not for your personal use only please. if you dont even make the effort to go to the dustbin to discard your rubbish, then i dont see why the person in charge should be bother to help too. you ask me to sweep the whole classroom since i'm already sweeping my area?? sorry boy, i'm not going to do that. i'm not your servent and dont even try treating me like one. the rubbish doesnt even belong to me, the only reason i'm sweeping it away is because i want my area to be clean. call me selfish?? HA HA HA HA. is that a joke or something?? look whose the one being selfish here?? you may think that i dont know but that doesnt mean that i really dont know. i know the sweet wrapper and litters are thrown by you. please thank god that now i am a changed person. i dont know what i will do to you if i'm still the un-changed me.

some people is just itching for a whack. serious. and they are so blessd that they have christians around them, lesser people who find trouble for him. AAARRRGGG. but i thank god too. because i'm only left with 3 months with them. WOOHOO!!

i'm soaring, flying!!

so shit

2006-07-23T21:03:00.000+08:00

i dont know what should i say to make you understand. but if "saying" can stop you, i would say EVERY word to you. this is how serious and how much i dont want it to happen. you are my very dear friend, i dont want to see anything happen to you. i really really dont want to. i know this is a bit emo but it really brings me to tears whenever i think about it. friend, i care for you ALOT. i seriously dont want to see you falling into this. would you please listen??

GOD!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?? CAN YOU HEAR MY CRY?? THIS THINGS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND AND YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO THIS LORD!! NOTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO THIS FRIEND OF MINE. AND I'M SURE YOU DONT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TOO, RIGHT?? FATHER YOU HAVE TO DO SOMTHING NOW. LIKE REALLY NOW!! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. PLEASE LORD, I WOULD DO EVERYTHING TO HAVE THIS FRIEND OUT OF THIS. JUST TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO. BRING THIS AWAY, LET NOTHING OF SUCH COME NEAR!! THIS FRIEND IS TOO YOUNG TO GO THROUGH THIS KIND OF THINGS LORD. IN FACT THIS FRIEND SHOULDNT BE GOING THROUGH ANY OF THIS THINGS LORD. GOD. I BEG YOU, PLEASE PLEASE. TELL ME WHAT TO DO LORD, I'M REALLY CRYING IN DESPAIR. LET ME FEEL YOUR PRESENCE LORD!! PLEASE!!!

SOCCER!!

2006-07-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

oh well. i'm kinda like going mad over soccer. not because i'm inspired by the world cup, not because i watch too many times of she's the man. but just a simple interest that seems to be growing in me. a strong desire to play soccer. BADLY!! friend told me that i missed the trail. so i would have to wait till the end of year THAN i can go for the trail. maybe it's a good thing. because i have never really play soccer before. so god is giving me this opportunity to train up during this few months. WOOHOO!! it's just so great to have GOD as my daddy. =))

went queensway to shop for soccer boots. saw some that's really nice =)) well, i dont know if i should get a soccer boots now. maybe i should just pray that someone will but me a soccer boots for my birthday present. =)) *HINTING* hahahaha

things that i really want

soccer ball
soccer shirt
soccer shoe
soccer boots
shoe bag
more shorts

okayy. it seems like i'm ALL crazy over soccer. haha. indeed i am!! but of cuz, I LOVE NETBALL!!!!!

HAHA

2006-07-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

okayy. pardon me if i just blog a little today. cuz i'm really really tired. can you imagine. i was at kap, it's only 9 bus stop away from my house. YET i fell asleep. can you just imagine how tired i was now?? hmm. dunno why tho. hahah. anyway, lemme just blog about the highlight about today.

as i said, was kapping with sandy xuanting steph and claire. xuanting left for cg, steph left for home, claire left for tv. errr. nvm. so left me and sandy again. hahha. had dinner at kap AGAIN!! but instead of eating chicken today. we ate sandwhich. AND I HEREBY ANNOUCE THAT I HATE BREAD EVEN MORE NOW!! lemme elaborate why. we have SIX bread each, THREE ham each, THREE cheese each and COUNTLESS scopes of tuna. OH GOSH!!! you think it's little?? IT'S NOT!! SO NOT!! sandy and i was like stuggling to finish the food. oh gosh. it really teaches us one thing, it is not to but so much food.

okayy. i'm gonna go offline now. i need to bath and watch tv. so that after the show i can jump strainght on to my bed and skeep immediately =))

SHIYOU!! (SHANNEN)
WE MUST BE SHEPHERD OKAYY?? HAHAHA. MUST GROW TOGETHER!!

WHAO!!

2006-07-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

oh well, i'm really loving saturday more and more. hahaha. cuz asturday. cu znow, i have one more thing to add to my do to list. and that is SEED!! hahah. seed was fun. we went out in pairs to share the gospel. i was pairing with grace. and then we shared to this girl name josephine. so man!! she's another responsive one, she said that she wants to be a christian just that her parents object. OH GOSH!!! so i told her this. it's okayy. GOD will change it. hahaha. i think she's really a potential one. hahahaha

anyway, service was cool. and eelie share with us this letter that a non-beliver wrote to this believer. it was aobut this non-believer is dead, then she went to hell i think. er. then she wrote to this believer which is her best friend saying why is it that she have never told her about god. why is it that she have never told her that he is the way. etc. then i know the ending she said, i have called you my best friend. but aftter knowing all this, i dont know if i can still call you "my friend". ssssss. what eelie was saying is, we should have the sense of urgency to share christ to the people around us. close and dear. and of cuz those we are not close too. because you dont know what the future holds. so do it before your realised it's too late. =))

I WANT TO BE A SHEPHERD!!!!!!
i want to love my sheep. i want to love them like as though they are my child. i'm gonna protect them from rain and storm. oh man!!!! it's all so exciting!!!! sheep sheep. I'M COMING FOR YOU SOON!!! WAIT FO RME!!

oh, and one thing really make me think is what den feng (zachary) said. when we decided to give up. it's not only about us. it's about the whole blood line. cuz we are all in the blood line of god. you know the family tree thingy?? that's what we're talkling about. yess. it's not only about us and god. it's about ALL those people that god had planned under us. you get what i mean now?? so it's time for us to really wake up and go all out for god!! WEE

WE WANNA SEE
WE WANNA SEE
WE WANNA SEE JESUS LIFTED HIGH!!!

how???

2006-07-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

okayy. i really wanna go for the soccer thingy on friday. i'm so looking forward to it. cuz i want to play soccer so much. i'm just waiting for them to teach me play. but too bad. the thingy is at 7. and i'm having dinner with my teammates. aarrrgg. and i dont even know if i want to go. not that i can dont go, just that. everything is so weird now. the group is spliting. so it's like. i can imaginie the atmosphere on friday. everyone'll be awkward. we will all be trying to act like nothing's wrong but actually everything has gone all wrong. aarrgg. so it's like, if this is the way it's gonna be. i would really rather go for soccer then going for dinner. so shit can. AIYAH!!!!!!

honestly, i cant wait for next year. so that i can join soccer. i'm discovering what kind of sport god made me good at. i hope it's soccer. and of cuz. netball too. WOOHOO. i feel so young. hahahha. i think when your young. you should really try all sorts of things. GOOD THINGS. not those things please. hahha. go see things outside. then when you grow up. you wont regret not trying this not learning that. because as you know, many things is age limitted. and many things needs to be picked up when your younger. i'm speaking this from experience. there's many things i regret not doing when i'm younger. things like not joining tennis when i'm in school. the reason is because i didnt really like mrs yee and she happen to be the teacher in-charge. hahahah. not staying in band, not join ing netball instead. many many things. and i'm not only talking about sports. i'm also refering to life and peers. peers very important. because you are what they are. they study, you study. they are serious about achieving good things. you are. but if they are bad influence, you are too. many dont agree on this point. they often say that when their parents tells them not to mix around with people that is bad. then the child will always say this "they are bad doesnt meanthat i am bad what. i dont do whatthey do can already lo". agree?? but i'm telling you this. you are about to turn bad. because if you know that your friends are bad yet you want to be with them, what does it proves?? and mind you. i used to be one of those child who say those things to my teachers and parent. but what have i turned out to?? an expelled student, a lesbian, a girl that does nothing but club, smoke, drink and steal. this isnt a good thing my friend. and i thank god for changing my life.

so here's a little advise,

dont do things you will regret

there is a reason why they always say,
think before you do.

OH YESH!!!!

2006-07-11T07:56:00.000+08:00

entry for yesterday (10/07/06)

the day starts off with me waking up at 530 instead of 5. didnt meet up with winnnie cuz her school starts at a later time i think. hahah. but anyway, managed to get everything done by the time of 630. so i left the house earlier. walking VERY slowly to the station. cuz i was so tired and i was actuall thinking if i should go home and sleep. hahaha. met ban ban in the station. i was trying very hard to talk to him. serious. cuz i was so tired but if we dont talk, it'll be so awkward. haha. '

school was alright. as boring as ever. didnt even have lesson please. Mrs Teo was too pissed to teach, so she ended up sitting down there for 30 minutes stoning. mind this, she have two period with us. she was late for 15 minutes. so she only teach us for 15 munites. like what the. but cant blame her. the class was as inconsiderate as ever.

met jinqi after school. was suppose to evax to SCGS. but something is wrong. it is either we are so tired till we dont even feel like evax-ing, or the place is really not a place for you to evax. cuz it's in the middle of nowhere and at the side of a road. HAIYOH. but is it located in sucha place i dont know. hahha. so we decided to head town instead. so we paln that every monday should be our sabbath day. cuz it's a monday. usually people feel more redunctant on mondays i think. slacked until orange and gang reach town. was sitting at the bussstop as we talk. and suddenly, jinqi struck me with a VERY VERY shocking news. I'M IN SEED!!!!!!!! hahahahaha. it has been two years ever since i'm back in church. but of cuz. this two years is not fruitful at all. and come to think about it. i didnt even do anything for god for this past 2 years. =(( really nothing at all. wasnt even living for god. haiyoh. BUT. i think ENCOUNTER camp really change me. change me so much. indeed a life-changing camp. hee. and i thank god for that. if it wasnt for him who open my heart. i dont think i am what i am now. haha. so in conclusion. LET GOD TAKE OVER!! haha. okay. i'm VERY looking forward for saturday. so i can go for SEED MEETING!!!! hahaha. congrat me man. -CONNGRAT NICOLE!!- hahha

anyway, had match. and as usual, we WON!! hahaha. it was kinda expected but still. hee. and let me tell you this. the old jix umpirer SUCKS TO THE MAX OKAYY. he kept saying that i contact. KEPT saying obstruction. PLEASE LA. i'm taller than her then of cuz i look like as though i'm blacking her right?? but sorry i didnt la. and what contact all?? whose contacting who la?? durin gthrow in GA practically lean on me. and during center-pass GA was again using her elbow to black me please. she elbow-ed me for how many times already?? BUT I DONT SEE YOU BLOWING YOUR WISTLE??? you old freak!!! but i'm sorry, you want us to lose right?? SORRY WE WON OKAYY?? WE WON!! neh ni neh ni boo boo!!!

OKIE DOKIE

2006-07-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

it was very late when i came online yesterday, that is why i didnt blog. cuz mum complaints that i type very loud. HA HA HA.

okayy. YESTDERDAY IS JUST A DAY OF MIRACLES PLEASE.

1) joel came. and he was quite responsive. like relaly really responsive. hahaha. and surprisingly, he click quite well with the people, especially with jeremiah!! hee. and the other thing is, god spoken to him really much. serious. no joke. if not he wouldnt be so responsive right?? hahah. somemore none of us say anything to him la. PRAISE THE LORD MAN!!!

2) as i said. julia is someone who is quite reserved towards christianity. BUT. yesterday was a total different thing. and it goes like this :

me: heyy my dear orange, where are you going today??

her: i'm think i'm going out but most prob cant cuz mum dont let me go out. you?

me: oh okayy. cuz i'm going church today and wants to ask you if you wanan come. haha

her: oh. i dont mind!! but doubt i can. mum says i go out too much

me: oh great. haha. hmm. you be guai for the week then on sat you can come out.

her: i hope so but most prob cant

me: nvm la. i will pray to god that he will aloow ou to go out on sat

her: ok!! prayers usually work. haha. thanks nicole:)

YOU SEE THIS?? YOU SEE?? this is GOD's work. what is imppossible?? impossible is nothing. NOTHING. hahah. and julia told me that she's grounded today. uh huh. so?? you think i care?? i dont care. i'm seeing her on saturday and that's for sure. who say so?? god say so =))

and anyway, haad central prayer meet after service. it was VERY motivating. daniel was saying that we should go for an "ALL OUT SEARCH" AMEN!! ALL OUT SEARCH. i think we should all have the urgency to out reach to people. it is not only about people coming in wearing the same uniform. it is also about people from other schools. we see god working on sji. we're gonna see god work on every other schools too. are you on board?? serious. are you?? and i dont see why people is scared of rejections or paisehness. when jesus preach the gospel to the apostles or the "teachers". is he afraid of the rejections?? NO!! when jesus god mocked, people spitting saliva on jesus' face, got hung on the cross, were he afraid of being paiseh or not?? NO!! and why is that so?? because he believe in GOD. that GOD will make a way. GOD will save him. as simple as that. look into your heart. are you trusting the lord?? are you walking with him or not?? your living on your own or your letting god taking over control?? i think we should really ponder on this. =))

MARK 11:23 (if i'm not wrong)

i tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "GO, throw yourself into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he say swillhappen, it will be done for him.

YYYYOOOOOOOooooo

2006-07-08T00:43:00.000+08:00

oh gosh. i'm so so so tired. btu i had fun =))

went for floorball today. together with my smelly orange =)) my gosh, it's so tiring please. really. hahah. but i'm so glad that julia had fun. cuz she kinda dislike christians. but today. after we left the place. she told me that she really enjoyed herself today. OH MAN!!! this is god's work. god has done alot of work today. haha

1) julia told me that she has nowhere to go. so i ask her if she wants to join me for floorball. but abit scared. cuz she dont like christians. but today, she said that she dont mind. whoa!! great isn't it??

2) joel came too. his a guy taht jinqi and went to evax to on wednesday. hahaha. damn cool again. hahaha. AND KNOW WHAT?? HIS COMING TMR!!!! SO DAMN COOL LA. haha.

SO WE SHOULD ALL PRAISE GOD!!! HAHAHAHHAA. HIS SO GREAT ISNT HE?? HAHHA

anyway, i just simply dont understand some people's thinking. i mean, come on, GOD is a god. he created EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING. someome so powerful and great. someone who is a god yet humble himself. for whAT?? all for us. YET there's ungrateful people out there. who dont appreciate his love. god already give you a chance to come. YET you dont want to. jinqi is right. i dont understand why we need to BEG you to come. HE is a god eh, do you think GOD needs to BEG you to come?? NO okayy. so i dont understand why people have this stupid consept. and I'M so sorry, being a free-thinker doesnt make you FREE at all.

oh yeah!!

2006-07-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

okayy. this is interesting. once again, i'm transfering. to the pioneering group. WOOHOO!! this is like so excited. i know GOD places me there. and it's obvious. okayy. random again. hmm. but still, i'm so so so looking forward to this group. HAHAHAHAHAHA. god is going to use me big time man. serious. oh man. no words can ever describe how i'm feeling now.

and well, initially i was thinking if i should agree onto this challenge. cuz i'm taking my N level this year. which is 57 days away from now. SCARY!! but still, god told me this " do not be afraid, just believe ". basically he wants me to stop worrying about my N level so much. because as long as i put in my best effort. he will surely bless me. AMEN?? =)) so his asking me to place all my worries with him. he will have his way to deal with it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

anyway, this is something i was suppose to blog about yesterday but forgot to.

Q: why is yunkai an ah pek
A: because he orders curry puff (not about this) and KOPI-O. and he drinks like an ah pek too. cuz he really drink it sip by sip. totally like one

Q: why is yunkai as ah beng?
A: he was knocking against the wall of the bus and created some noise that's suppose to go with a tune. (jinqi and i cant hear which tune is it)

Q: why is yunkai so naive?
A: it happens like this, we were at the cafe. and someone ordered "dan dan mian". and it's not ji dan (egg) that dan. basically the dan is some kind of well known mian in si chuan. it has got nothing to do with the dan. BUT!! yunkai insist that the dan is a small dan. like puh-lease?? haha. so when the dan dan mian is ready. i ask yunkai to go take a look. if they really have egg. the answer is no. BUT yunkai insist that the egg is underneath. AARRGG. yunkai die die also want to say that it is egg. i dont understand at all.

QUIZZZZZ

2006-07-05T20:21:00.000+08:00

Name twenty people you can think of right now.
Dont read the question(s) until you've named the 20 people.
At the end of this,choose five people to do this.
01) stacey
02) lenus
03) amelia
04) zan
05) skye
06) shuwen
07) karmun
08) holymama
09) minzhen
10) sandy
11) choonmin
12) choonyee
13) xuanting
14) sharon
15) orange
16) puiyen
17) wenqian
18) shiyou
19) mummy
20) brother

How did you meet #14?
through SRC =))

How would you do if you didnt meet #1?
i wouldn't be as enjoying the flight as much.

What if #9 and #20 date?
MINZHEN AND MY BROTHER??? THAT'S DAMN FUNNY!!!!

Would #6 and #17 make a good couple?
er. sorry ah. no lesbianesm here please. haha

Describe #3.
she's SO nice. and she went all so cute whenever we shoot her.

Is #8 attractive?
HAHAHAHAHA. CERTAINLY. HAHAHAHA. she's holy mama okayy

Describe #7.
she's really a friend that i will never forget. cuz she's one of the few that i can really say out everything to.

Do you know any of #12 family members?
er. can say so?? been out with them before

What would you do if #18 confess to you that he/she likes you?
this is really a hard question. because i can never picture her saying that to me.

What language does #15 speak?
english and VERY bad chinese

Who is #9 going out with?
choonmin?? hahaha. they are always together.

How old is #16?
16 =))

When is the last time you spoke to #13?
hmm. saturday??

Who is #2's favourite band/singer?
er. i dont really know. but i know she like nice songs. okayy. random

Would you ever date #4?
er. no?? i'll laugh till i die when i'm with her. haha

Would you ever date #1?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. i cant stop laughing.

Is #15 single?
no. she's together with sharon but her heart is here with me!!

What's #11's last name?
min?? hahah

Would you ever be in a relationship with #12?
yeah. i wish. hahhaa. no la. she's my best friend

School of #3?
SAINT MARGARETS SECONDARY SCHOOL.

Where does #6 live?
waterloo street

What's you fave thing about #5?
her stupid face when she trys to be funny.

Have you seen #1 naked before?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I WANT TO LAUGH TOO. HAHAHAHAHAHHA

sigh

2006-07-04T23:48:00.000+08:00

okayy. was rather not in the mood to blog. actually nothing much. out with minzhen and choonmin on sunday. went wenqian's house and tan. with my smelly orange (julia), buibui (puiyen) and my si dang (sharon). we are all burnt. =))

anyway, my mum has been talking on the phone for more then 3 hours already. HMMM. not long at all.

however, i'm quite sad. because i dont like the way people lead life. if you think that your gonna live here forever, your wrong. so wrong. earth is just a passing place. we dont belong here. our home is in heaven. dont you still not understand this simple point?? so why is people induging in this whole worldly thingy. let me tell you this, even if your a superstar. even if you are a millionaire. even if you the president. SO WHAT?? all this things dont gain you any reward in heaven. i tell you, life without god means life without a purpose. which makes life pointless. understand?? dont live for yourself, because you didn't create you. GOD created you, so shouldn't we all live for him?? as a form of thanks-giving, as a form of serving?? friends out there. i dont care if i'm only a hi-bye friend to you or the closest friend. i just want you to know that i'm not gonna leave you behind. for you are my friend. we didnt meet by coincident. god place us into each other life. and i believe that god is using me to speak to you. so wouldn't you listen?? listen for his word. and you'll know. what is true joy. what if call "life"

.

2006-07-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

okayy. i have alot of feelings today. shall start of with the not-so-good feelings then the good ones. so that we will have a happy ending. =))

1) one thing i dislike about non-believer (np) is that, they dont know the word "appreciate". serious, they don't. when someone is concern about you, want to bring you to church, it shows that your friend cares. he wants to help you. i dont find it funny AT ALL. i mean, come on. what's wrong?? what's so funny about he wanting to bring you to church?? what's so funny when someone is trying to help you?? what's so funny?? serious. share the joke la.

2) am i very dislike-ing?? i feel insecure. like. i feel that people dont like the way i am. why is it that she wants to run away from me?? there must be something wrong with me. must be. but yet god tell me this, "if this kinda small rejection you can't take it, then how are you going to do great things for me??" which is very true. AAARRGGGG

3) i was at kap just now. doing qt. while the rest study. then suddenly there's this group of guys seat at the next table. okayy. nvm. they were like girls please. they talk and laugh so loudly. serious. i thought only girls does that. it's okayy i guess. it was tolaratable. but not until they started bad-mouthing about somoe girls. they were thinking of them in the sexual way. my goodness. why are they like this?? where is the respect?? and how dare they speak ill of girls this way in public?? ain't they ashame of their thoughts and action?? i was VERY pissed. so i wrote this note and place it at the most end of my table so that they can see it. i wrote "what makes a man "un-man" is when a man shows no respect of a woman's reputation. WAKE UP!!" it took them awhile to read it and then decided that they should go home. and i hope they will reflect.

okayy. i'm done with all my unhappy moments. now with the happy ones!! woohoo

early in the morning at 11 o'clock. my daddy danny called. went to have lunch with him. WOOHOO. one of god's plan. cuz i was ultimately broke. so met daddy and daddy gave me $20!! spent it on bible. food. and titings. hee. and sadly to say, i'm left with 50cents now. i know i spent alot. okayy okayy. i will cut down on spending money. sorry sorry. anyway, service today was great. i think the service is really for me. FAITH. and keep asking though god seems silent. AMEN!! it really applies to me. hee. worship was great. the song is for me too. auyah. everythign's for me. that's the best. hee. NO, cannot for me only. god says that we should be giving. so much share. wee.

i want to thank shiyou for the letter. it's really sweet =))

and also choonyee and xuanting for the encouragement card =))

lalalalala

2006-06-30T10:07:00.000+08:00

okayy. was suppose to blog yesterday but didnt. so here i am, blogging as i promised sandee i will. hee.

studying with sandee was fun. we were laughing almost half of the time. over stupid things. we were smelly-ing all the way. hahahaha. saw jarvin, melvin, yunkai and peeps. JARVIN AND MELVIN HAS NO HAIR!!!! like really no hair. HAHAHAHAHA. i know it's bad but i really couldn't stop laughing. they look like monk please. hahhahahhaha. okok. saw steph, claire and davidhoe. in my mind, beatty sec's uniform is blue. but i saw davidhoe wearing white uniform. so i ask sandee what school his in

me: ay, what school is davidhoe in??
sandee: beatty sec
me: oh. betty (i pronounce it wrongly)
sandee: (VERY JIX) HAHAHAHAHA, NO NO. IT'S BEATTY NOT BETTY!!
steph: no la, PAP.

HAHAHAHAH. THE WHOLE THING IS DAMN FUNNY PLEASE. HAHAHAHAHA. i couldnt stop laughing

anyway, back to studying. not much tho. but manage to finnish the whole of paper one. anyway, had HALF a chicken for dinner. oh gosh. sandee and i were like, struggling SO hard to finnish the chicken. but i cant. gave the last peice out. sandee ask me not to waste food cuz people from (some country name) dont have food to eat. so i ask her to send that piece of chicken to that (some country name)

oh well, sandee. dont sad anymore okayy?? (not cuz of the chicken) i'm sure things will be fine after awhile. =))

reply of tags

MILLIE

haha. okayy la, i dont blame her anymore. tell her i love her then. hahaha. and your welcome. anything you can always find us. we'll be here for you!! I LOVE YOU TOO DEARIE!!

SANDEE

I'M GONNA SEE YOU ON SAT!! WOOHOO. SO EXCITING!! HHAHAHAHAHHA AND YOU STOP JIXING AH

uh huh

2006-06-29T07:33:00.000+08:00

let's leave a message note for mila okayy?? okayy!!

MILA MILLIE!!

heyy, read your blog and felt so sad. hmm, you didnt state what kinda feelingi you were feeling so i dont know how exactly your feeling. okayy, nvm. anyhow, i pray for you that you will not feel that way alright?? for noone is not worth of his love. god loves every of his child remember?? we cant picture him as our god, picture him as our father. and his a cool father that his more like a friend than a father. cuz this father will take away all our unpleasant feelings. provided we allow him to. hmm. when your all alone or when you feel lonely, REMEMBER YOU STILL HAVE ME!! and so many others. you'll never be alone la silly =))

i hope you feel better?? hee.

ANYWAY!! i feel kinda bad. it's the first week of school and i'm like missing school for two days. oh no, i feel bad. hmmm. okayy, at lease there's something to do later that i wont feel that bad. I'M MEETING MY DEAR SANDEE!! i miss her so dearly okayy. i really regret not talking to her earlier. she's so fun and cute please. hahahahaha. oh yeah, we're kapping. hope it'll be a successful one. because my exam is VERY NEAR TO ME. SO NEAR THAT IT MAKES ME SCARED NOW. OH NO!! okayy. i shouldn't be scared. cuz i've got my father with me. do my best and he will do the rest. WOOHOO!!

for shiyou

2006-06-28T08:46:00.000+08:00

hey girl, i feel a terrible friend now. because i wasn't updated about your life at all and i dont know that your going through sucha a tough time. i promise that i will read your blog everyday now. =))

anyway, i know how it feels when those sin you've committed kept coming to remind you that you've done this, you've done that. but girl. this is the devil's trap. do not fall into it. his plan is to make you feel guilty, make you feel so guilty until you feels so bad til you're worthless. make you wanna breakdown because of the guilt.

BUT, remember of GOD's promises. he say that he will never leave us and noone is not wirth of his love. when you hear all the things the devil say, do remember that GOD is here too. awaiting at your door, waiting for you to open the door so that he can come in and chase the devil away. do bare in mind of this point, we human alone can never fight against the devil. only with god and the holy spirit we can. and it's a SURE WIN!!

sister, the only way out is not to think about it, pray to god and ask him to take all this away. with faith, all this will be taken away. claim it by faith remember?? your NEVER alone. god didn't put us into your life just as someone you know, but someone you can share problem and solve with. =))

SO FUN!!

2006-06-28T08:00:00.000+08:00

school was alright. execpt the fact that i have quarreled with that irritating guy again. GOD!! how can i love him as my neighbour?? it's so difficult. the incident went like this,

Mr Chun was going through maths paper. until a point of time that he dicided to skip the question because it is difficult and we have not learn that. then that irritating guy passed this nasty comment "aiyah, you dont know how to teach then say la". ANNOYED!! i turn back and "tz" at him. WITHOUT FEELING ASHME OF HIS ACTION, he said this "do your work la, turn back and tz tz tz." I TOLERATE!! because i really dont want to quarrel with him. BUT!! wanting to test my patient agian and again. he pass another comment "you hongkong..." I HATE PEOPLE COMMENTING ON MY NATIONALITY. so i turned back and asked him to RESPECT me, and also respect the class by keeping quiet. HE TALKED BACK!! he said that he WAS listenning, which is obviously a lie, i shot him back by saying that he was not because he has been talking LOUDLY.

tell me god. what can i do and what must i do. this person here is obviously hard to love. your really testing my patient with people god. GOODNESS. how can someone be THIS ANNOYING?? he is already staying in hostel. shouldn't he be thankful that he is allowed to come school?? shouldn't he be coming school to study and change?? NO!! he is not doing any of this. shouldn't he show at lease a little bit of appreciation?? no?? IRRITATING!!

okayy. enough of emos. let me blog about something more cheerful. met the three (sharon, julia and puiyen) after school. went town to shop for wenqian's birthday. woohoo!! walked round heeren and cine. couldn't find anything that is quitable to be wenqian's bdae present. so went puiyen and julia came, they suggested that we go take. went to seiyu's toy department. WWWAAAHHHH!!! the toys there is SO CUTE AND FUN!! i was amused by almost everything there. hahaha. except for this black thingy puiyen REFUSED to stop scaring me with. she kept putting that black thing near my face. serioiusly i dont know what she wants to do. well, it's puiyen. haha. hope she wont see this. SO, i went to take this frog that puiyen is afraid of. took it and and put it in front of her face. HA HA HA HA. thoguht it'll be a fair and square thingy. NOT AT ALL. she went to take blackie and scare me again. so we were chasing around to scared each other with frogie and blackie. the salegirls and boy were like lookign at us with this STOP-RUNNING-LIKE-A-LITTLE-KID face. okayy, we stop. not because of the face. is because frogie's wing broke. hahaha. OH YEAH, went i saw all the cute little stuff there. i'm so desperate to have childrens. so that i can dress them up into cute little real-life cartoon. hahahahaha.

SO EARLY!!

2006-06-26T14:03:00.000+08:00

it's like 1401 only but i'm already home. school ends at 1305 for me on mondays. was suppose to meet choonmin and minzhen. but they last minute decided to pang seh me. SO BAD! but it's okayy. i've learned to be loving. hahha

school was not bad i think. and i think it is because god answered our prayer. winnie and i met this morning to do quite time (QT) together. it was fruitful. like really. and we both agree to to QT together in the morning from now on. i think it is good to do something together with a friend. course the two can encourage each other and move each other on. COOL RIGHT?? i think so too. and we're partner-ing for "purpose-driven live". A VERY GOOD BOOK. I STONGLY RECOMMAND CHRISTIANS AND NON-CHRISTIANS TO BUY THIS BOOK. it really helps. effective!!

and know what?? N level starts next week for oral. OH NO!!!! and it's like, N level officially begins on somewhere at the end of july. JULY!!! and see this 4 word?? and when is it?? NEXT WEEK!!! oh no, i'm damn jix i realised. hahha. but i think you peeps know why. whatever. i'll do my best and god will do the rest. RIGHT GOD??

oh, and one thing i have to share. there's this gril in my class who is also my lesbian partner (LP) who happen to be having an affair with another girl. she talks to her affair more instead of talking to me more. THAT'S NOT THE POINT. the point is, i was reading pirpose driven life just now and out of a sudden, my kawan (holy spirit) MMS me a picture. not to my phone la, to my head. of a girl, which is my LP. okayy, message sent, want to to invite her to church. ON AR. so i went to her and ask if she's free on sat. at first she told me she cant confirm with me. cuz she say that she wants to go school on sat morning for science tuition. AND BEFORE I SUGGESTED, she said " or you come on saturday too then we go together??" OH GOD!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO WONDERFUL?? YOUR SO SO SO AMAZING. YOU USE ME SO FULLY AND YOU REALLY MAKE THINGS SO EASY. I LOVE YOU GOD!!!!

and so, i messaged holy mama and tel her about it. and i told her something that i realised. that i have been bringing indians. WOOHOO!! maybe god wants me to evast on indians. wah. damn cool eh. can you imagine?? an indian group?? hahahhahahahahha. AMEN!!

OH NO!!

2006-06-25T19:43:00.000+08:00

THIS IS SO....

tmr's re-open of school. OH NO!! it's revison ALL THE WAY!! not that it's bad. but i'm really afraid of the stress i'm gonna face. OKAYY OKAYY!! i'm placing all my worries to god. i know he will help me through. AMEN!!

okayy. i'm so gonna "he zuo" with god. because when school starts. means the life of evangelise starts. WOOHO!! though i'm just a girl. but i really wanna win the school. maybe not the whole school. but at lease a cg?? hee =))

and even though going back to school means i'm going to see that irritating guy in my class. i pray to god i have patience. i will not "fa pi qi", i will be loivng. VERY hard tho, but god will make a way amen??

it is really a time to settle down. no more slacking. come on, N level is like not even half a year away. rememeber my vision?? TOP FOR N LEVEL. it is possible. AMEN!! so i'm really going to study like MAD!! ANYONE WANNA GOVE ME TUITION?? FREE PLEASE?? hee. i pray to god there will be a kind soul who is willing to give me free tuition. i'm really very scared that i will slack again. so i pray and pray and pray to god that he will guide me through this year.

reply of tags.

SHIYOU!!

sorry i didnt come yesterday. course i have match. hee. next week okayy?? anyway, school's re-opening. be excited okayy?? evast!! serious, you can do it. with god, you can. amen?? hee

STACEY!!

i kinda forget what happen already la. hahah. next time we go out longer then i blog okayy?? hee. good luck for school.=))

sacrifies or not??

2006-06-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

as i was saying yesterday, about sinning when your with friends. i'm gonna continue today.

i have this group of friend. bestest friend. the kind that you can share everything under the sun with. alright. but however, they are non-christian. so they are so called living on their own. basically, they smokes like nobody's business. which is a temptation to me whenever they smoke. so sometimes, when i'm trying to be "in". i give in to temptation. which is very very bad. so i remember this thing that xiu hui told me before. do not yoke with non-believers. this was what she said. which is very true. a living example that i've just told. even believers. sometimes youthink that you can resist temptation. friend, this is what you think so. not what god think so. god ask you to flee from temptation, never ask you to fight against temptation. right??

i'm not saying that christian cant have non-christian friend. but i'm saying, be aware of what you are doing when your with non-christian friends. because, whatever you do. reflects back to them of how a christian is. you want to share christ right?? you want to bring people to christ right?? so you should show them how christ is like. get what i'm trying to convey?? when your friends knows that your a christian. automatically, they label you as a model of christ. so beware of the things you do when yoru with non-believers. for you are the person that will bring them to christ. so we have to live as an example of christ. so that when we share christ. they will not doubt. because they have already see it with their own eyes. that christ change. and ONLY GOD CHANGE

SO TIRING!!

2006-06-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

was at the air port studying overnight yestersay. with xuanting and sandy. didnt really study alot. i only studied 3 chapters. and slept for like 1 hour plus?? hahha. only xuanting never sleep. we kept wanting to talk when we're studying, but decided to talk during the break. see, we are obedient. hahaha. alot of distraction came along the way. one of it is the lizard. MY GOODNESS. the lizard even crawled to my side okayy!! i was like so gross-ed up la. haha. we were all very jix. so we decided to pray togod. pray that he will bring all the distraction away especially the lizard. we prayed tat it will not be in any of our bags or my shoe bag. hahahaha. whatever.

left for CG at 9+. WE WERE EXPECTING THERE TO BE SEATS FOR US OKAYY. because we are all damn tired. but NO SEATS AT ALL!! my goodness. all damn jix. cuz we cant seat. not even on the floor cuz it's damn squeesy. so when we reached newton. we quickly lie on the BIG SEATS like nobody's business. WE WERE ALL DAMN TIRED. but know what?? despise of all the tiredness. we were still laughing like a looney. serious. tired. laugh until tiired. tired still want to laugh. laugh like we're going out of breath. hahah. whatever.

anyhow, richmond visited our CG today. and he enjoyed it. which is good. isn't it?? ahahah. anyway, the sharing was very good. were suppose to share what we have learn during quiet time. many people shared. and their sharing is all very motivating. like. god will vision to them some question that you really need think those kind??

and i think that god is really great. and because he is great. so we should not be ashame of him. why i say this is because right, often there is times that when we are with friends. we tend to do things that is not right. but just because we want to "be with them". so we choose to disobey for a moment. which is really really unhealthy. because you know right, when there is once when you choose to sin for once, there is a time when you want to sin the second time. so it's like. to play safe. why not dont even attempt to sin?? right?? of cuz it's not easy. that is why the holy spirit and god for. they are here to help agree?? =))

whoawhoa

2006-06-21T13:25:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO CHANGE BLOGSKIN!! IS THERE ANY KIND SOUL OUT THERE WILLING TO HELP ME?? YOUR REWARD WILL BE AWARDED IN HEAVEN. HAHA.

anyway, was kinda pissed off this fewdays. that is why i didnt update. anyway, went studying with xuanting. and it's NOT FRUITFUL AT ALL. we were talking all the way can. btu we talked about god. so not so bad. hahha. xuanting has to go off early. as in she joined her mum at bata. so i was like looking for people to go out with me. and guess who's the kind soul?? LENUS CHOO. with stacey and margaret too. hmm. had BK. was damn full. after dinner stacey and margaret went off. left me and lenus. chatted for quite while and we started writing our friend's chinese name. hahha. rather lame.

so we went home. online for awhile. mum was like very jix cuz her phone cant be charged. so she was throwing her phone on the table and stuff. got damn jix so went offline and went back to my room. conference with xuanting and sandy. all went to sleep at one.

woken up by lenus choo's msg. TWICE!! hmm. and here i am. blogging. there's game later. against sss again. how many time they want us to play with them you tell me?? hahhaa. nvm nvm. going airport to study with xuanting and sandy overnight. then we'll go yanshao's place earlier. to TAN. hahha. all planed out. hahhaa cool man.

time to reply tags

SHIYOU

YEPP. I'M PLANNIGN TO TALK TO HER TMR. SO I PRAY AND PRAY THAT HOLY SPIRIT WILL HELP ME DO THE TALKING?? HAHHA. =)) =)) =)) SO NICE!! HAHAHA

LENUS CHOO

no matter what you do. you'll just make me laugh. cuz you look dumb. hahaha. no offense okayy. hahha. anyway, AND I LIKE TO TYPE IN CAP LO. YOU DONT JIX OKAYY. HHAHA. KU KU NEH NEH

my goodness

2006-06-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

i really wish that god is just seated right infront of me. so that i can hug him and tell him all my problems. serious. i'm so so tired. feeling so stressed up. i really dont know who to turn to.

the problem is this. the relationship between my mum and i is getting out of hand. and i hate it totally. it is like. i cant please her. it seems like everything that i do is wrong. IN HER EYE.

and i dont understand WHY she CANT understand. to her, her tze chi is VERY important. but apparently to me, that is not the case. DUH. first prob is the religious thingy. secondly, it is that i DONT like to go there. i dont know how to put it to her, because she's like so INTO it till everything of it is RIGHT. which kinda broke the communication bridge that connects me to my mum. WHATEVER!!.

i know that you shouldnt speak ill of your mum, i'm not. but just stating some things about my mum that i couldnt adknowledge. the problem is this, ever since the whole rehearsal starts. the problem starts too. she began to be more concern about whether i go for rehearsal more than anything, including me. soemtimes when i cant make it for rehearsal, like for training or game. she gets angry, cuz she thinks that i'm irresponsible and i should place rehearsal as my first piority. i tired to explain. she thinks i'm being rude by speaking back. fine. i keep quiet. which is SO-NOT-ME. things got worse till the extent that my mum and i stop talking.

i know she's angry because of the rehearsal thingy. but come on, i do have things that is much more important than it. it's okayy. so ii told the person-in-charge that i'm sorry, i really cant make iti for every rehearsal. i'll still try to make it whenever i can, but meanwhile, if they happen to find any replacement of me. please feel free to do so. THANK GOD. they managed to.

this is great, i thought. because i thought that even it's a bad thing that i wont be able to perform, but at lease she wouldnt have to answer to people why i cant make it for this and that. agree? but nothing of such happen. the silent remains, in fact, quarrel came in. it became a daily issue. over small matter. she REFUSE to talk to me in a normal tone. she started talking very sacarstically. she started commenting on everything that i do. i really wanted to shout back. but i dont want to. because i know that if i shout back, she will think of christianity as someone with no manners and stuff. you understand?? so i didnt shout back. and often those HURTFUL words she use on me really brought tears to my eye.

i tried to please her. i'll do things like playing her favourite song on the com. try to talk to her nicely. but she dont give a damn. and now, i'm down to a solution. and that is to be out whenever she's at home. meaning go out before hse comes home and get back home after she's asleep. i'm so tired lord. when wil this stop?? i dont like to stay out so late and long doing nothing. i liek to stay at home watching tv with my mum adn joke with her. GOD. can you bring those days back again?? i'll breakdown if this were to continue.

god. i want her to see you through me lord. i want her to witness the changes you've done on me lord.

i'm crying in despair

I'M SATURDAY!!

2006-06-18T00:55:00.000+08:00

i have to confess. that i really love saturday. really. cuz it's the day that we all gather together to praise, worship and listen to god. WOOHOO.

all of my days i will tell of your greatness
all of my days sing of your way
all of my days i will tell of your wanderous love

i find the song very nice and meaningful.

anyway, woken up TRICE by a fatty name LIM KAR MUN!! first two time by message. thrid time by calling. lied to her that i bath already cuz i'm damn scared that she will scold me. anyway, agreed to meet at 1215 outside coro. TAKE NOTE. i have not bath yet. so by right i will reach later then that fatty. BUT!! as usual. SHE'S LATE!! sooo expected la. whatver. had her stuff printed and we headed to town. DOING NOTHING!!

left them to meet xuanting and jocelyn. FOR SERVICE!! i think i was damn high today. was like damn excited la. and during praise and worship. i sense myself smiling, not because i'm crazy. but is because the songs that we sang is very meaningingful. and the second time was that gos sent a vision to me. was telling xuanting about it. i vision. cuz dennis was like saying that we all should be hungry for god. so i have this vison like this, instead of like "i want to buy drink, damn thirsty". we go like" can we read the bible?? i wan to read the word". and the other one went like this, instead of "can we eat crystal jade?" we go "can we go evangilise?" get what i mean now?? DAMN COOL LA!!

anyway, had dinenr at starhub. ALL THANKS TO XUANTING!! I LOVE YOU!! celebrated brian and jia min's bdae. minzhen and peeps have meeting. so i went to cold storage and do some shopping. was acting like a newly wed wife buying some supply to put at home those kind?? if you know what i mean. afterwhile, met up with minzhen, sandee, puiwah, mila and hosanna. went PS to buy cards and played the name game. DIE-ED after two games. change to play bluff. also DIE-ED after much distraction. cuz we were sitting in the middle of nowhere. minzhen and i wanted to watch silent hill, so borrowed money from hosanna. THANK YOU HOSANNA!! WONT IMITADE YOU ANYMROE!! HAHA. anyway, they only left with seperated seats. so we watch the O-MEN instead. BIGGEST REGRET!! WASTE OF TIME, WASTE OF MONEY!! my goodness. DONT WATCH!! TAKE MY ADVICE.

reply of tags

MILA

hahhhaha. i tagged you like so many times la. and you only tag once yet saying you want to flood my blog?? anyway, you look cute with your new hair. hahaha. really. hahah

MINZHEN

oh. your finally online and your finally tagging me?? hahaha. it's just a few words of encouragement but hope it'll stay in you always. know what i mean??

SANDEE

oh please. the first thing you do today was to ask me to imitade hosanna?? what the!! shoudnt you like "oh hi nicole, i missed you!!" no?? hhahaha. and you were like damn hyper today. think the reason behind it was cuz i'm there.hahhaaha

SHIYOU

oh man. you just told me a few hours ago telling me that you've replied my letter. so fast la. hahaha. anyway. my handwritting not nice.i think it's very ugly. my next leter will be a nicer one?? hahha. anyway, hope you feel encouraged. hahah

I'M BACK!!

2006-06-16T12:32:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!! chalet was damn fun. okayy. not DAMN but quite. HAHA. anyway. was at the SRC netball youth chalet. didnt do anythign expect for eating BBQ FOR 2 NIGHT!! swim in the morning. collapse to bed after long hour of endurance of not sleeping the last night. WHY?? cuz pui yen says that whoever sleep is WANG BA DAN. and i slept first, was damn tired please. so i'm OU BA DAN. the "wang" part is to replace with your surname.

anyhow, felt quite bad. cuz during the chalet. i didnt make an effort to share christ with them. like god already make it so easy for me to share already. but dunno why, my faith was kinda not functioning. somehow i didnt want to start. aarrgg. quite pissed off at myself. haiyah. hahhahaa.

anyway, PASIR RIS IS REALLY AN IN-CONVINIENT PLACE PLEASE!! the place is like so out of the way. it's like. i took AN HOUR++ to reach bukit timah?? and how? first i need to take a bus to the station, then take the train to newton, THEN take bus to yanshao's place. OH MAN. if yanshao ever call me to go his house asap to save his life?? i think he die already la. doesnt make any sense to me. from my house. i think i only need half a hour to reach.

TIME TO REPLY TAGSSS
people miss me when i'm away =))

SHIYOU!!

YEAH MAN!! CLAIM IT BY FAITH!! WOOHOO!! TELL ME WHAT CAN WE DO WITHOUT GOD MAN. NOTHING, JUST NOTHING!! HAHA. and know what?? i've got something for you. not present so dont so happy. just a letter. hmm. and my handwriting in there is like. WOO!! THE NICEST HANDWRITING YOU'D EVER SEE. hahahaha. i wrote it when i'm suppose to study la. hahhaa. opps.

SANDEE!!

YOYOYOYOYOY. what did you touch?? my boobs?? my ass?? hahhaa. i dont recall you touching me. okayy. that sounds wrong. HAHAHA. DID YOU MISS ME?? I KNOW YOU DO. NVM!! YOU'LL SEE ME TMR?? OH MAN. I'M SO EXCITED. CUZ IT'S SATURDAY!!! tell the world that jesus lives, tell the world that, tell the world that. tell the world that he died for them, tell the world that he lives again.

HOSANNA!!

HEEELLLLOOOOOO!!!!!! WHAT TAKES YOU SO LONG TO TAG ME HUH?!?!?!?!? SO REACTION AGAIN RIGHT?? HAHHAHA. opps. just kidding. and then you stop asking me to act maid ar. you and sandee ar. kept asking me to act this act that ar. sorry mum, maria will do everything. mum dont angry with maria.

i seriously need to shit now. i have been wanting to shit since the beginnign of the entry.

SANDEE DONT SAD!!

2006-06-13T00:44:00.000+08:00

okayy. the reason why i say SANDEE DONT SAD is cuz she lost her wallet. though i know that even if i ask her not to be sad she will still be sad. it's human. but other than asking her not to be sad, i really dont know what more can i say. so i will just pray to god that she will be able to find it soon or buy a new one and top it up. hmm.

anyway, went town with km, ame, shu and skye. did nothing but slack again. my goodness la. serious. everything we could do in town is to rot and slack. SO SIAN. so after my meal. we went to the arcade again. so typical. hahaha. anyway. first will be the DDR, then the word game. but today something added up. what is it?? it's our "favourite" PARAPARA. it's damn hilarious. skye played it. she was trying to act lian but ended up like a indian dancer?? hahha. went for match after that. against BUCK. my goodness. serious. NOONE thought that we could win the game. cuz they are so tell. and few of thm is fast. they score was like so close. but at the 3rd and 4th quart. we had a MEGA turn-over. AND WE BEAT THEM!! BY 6. and we were like 8 points back la. so it's not only 6, but 14. hahaha.

anyway, after the match. talk to minzhen. i'm so glad that we clear thigns out. cuz she was acting werid during camp. like. she's not so enthu when she see me. thought it's cuz of my pimple that makes her not want to talk to me. hahah. guess i think to much la. haha. anyhow, was like talking to her and stuff.

MINZHEN!! remember that god is our water. only he can quench our thirst. so no point thinking about other drinks like coke. cuz it will not quench our thirst yet make us more thristy. get what i mean?? haha. hope i didint put it too chim or something. hahah. we'll always stay as close yeah?? =))

SHIYOU!! guess i know how it feels like to be the only one in school. alone yet want to win the whole school. i know how it feels. really. cuz this is how i feel. and what i want to say is that. do not let rejections and pride to bring us down. because when the holy spirit promte us to go evangelise. it means he had already open the choosen one's hearts. only waiting for us to go anoit them. know what i mean?? it may be tiring, but isn't our passion for god stronger than anything?? we always friends, leaders, shepherd and god to talk to. remember. god will make a way, when there seems to be no way CL by aug?? NO PROB. amen?? haha. with faith. everything is possible =))

okayy. i'm going to sleep now. have to wake up early tmr. cuz there's WFL!! hahaha. i'm very very excited for it!!!

say i'm crazy or whatever, i dont care. because noone can extinguish my passion for god. it's either you be one of us or you can continue standing aside and miss out. which is bad. i advise you not to take the 2nd option. hahaha.

TELL THE WORLD

2006-06-11T22:20:00.001+08:00

tell the world that jesus lives
tell the worls that, tell the world that
tell the world that he died for them
tell the world that he lives again

YES!! PEOPLE!! JESUS DIED FOR US. BUT HE ROSE AGAIN!! HIS ALIFE!!

anyway, sandee and xuanting was suppose to call me yesterday night at 130. BUT!! they didnt and i fell asleep while waiting. HAHA. nvm. it's suppose to continue tonight.

whatever, i woke up at 830 today. cuz there's rehearsal aat 11. and mum wants to have breakfast with me. ate mac. WEEE =)) it's kinda good day with mum. we didnt quarell and stuff. THANK GOD. cuz i was like talking to god while ironing my uniform. asking him what am i gonna do to not quarell with mum. and he answerd. we didnt. YEAH!!

anyway, rehearsal was extra tiring cuz i'm not feeling well. btu i cant leave. SO!! it's okayy. cuz the pain went away at like 4 plus. THANK YOU SANDEE FORPRAYIGN FOR ME!! ILOVEYOU!! AND I LOVE GOD EVEN MORE!! hee

playing against BUCKS tmr. hmmm. interesting huh. hahha. IT'S OKAYY. GOD WILL LOOK OVER ME!!

I'M CAMP SICK!!

2006-06-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

HEYYYY!!! I'M HOME!!!!! AND I WISH I WASN'T. BECAUSE I WANT TO STAY IN CAMP!!!! CAMP IS SSSSOOOOO FFFFFUUUNNNNN!!!!!! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. THANK GOD JINQI ASK ME TO GO. OF NOT, I WILL HAVE ONE MORE THING TO ADD TO MY REGRET LIST. I MEAN REALLY SERIOUSLY. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

OKAYY. LEMME TELL YYOU WANT HAPPEN DURING THE WHOLE 4 DAYS 3 NIGHT HOPE-CHURCH SINGAPORE YOUTH "ENCOUNTER" CAMP 2006!!!!

MY GOODNESS. THIS WHOLE CAMP IS LIKE A LIFE INSPIRATION TO ME. I'VE NEVER FELT TO AMAZED AND INSPIRED BEFORE. WHAT THIS CAMP TAUGHT ME IS SOMETHING I HAVW NEVER ENCOUNTER BEFORE. MAYYBE THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE "ENCOUNTER" CAMP??? HHAHA. GOD SPOKE ME ALOT ALOT ALOT. AND HE TOUCHES MY HEART ONCE AGAIN. DURING THIS WHOLE CAMP, GOD HAVE PLACE MANY PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. PEOPLE LIKE THE HOLY SPIRIT. HIS LIKE MY KAWAN NOW. MUST THINK OF A NAME FOR HIM LATER. AND PEOPLE LIKE XUANTING, TRACY, DAI XUAN, MILA, HANNAH, HOSANNA, SANDY, WINNIE, KELLY, SIYOU. AIYAH. THOSE CENTRAL A PEEPS LA. HAHHAA. HOW I WISH TAHT I'M STILL IN ST MARGS. HAHAHA.

I'M SO LOOKING FORWARD TO DECEMBER CAMMP!!!. WOOHOO!!!

OH. AND ONE THING I REALLY WANT TO SHARE. THAT GOD REALLY ANSWER PRAYERS WHEN YOU HAVE A HEART OF WANTING TO DO GREAT THINGS FOR HIM.

ON FRIDAY NIGHT. 090606. 12+. suddenly the holy spirit promted me to share christ to amelia. so i did. knowing that i wont be able to do it on my own. so here comes my kawan. the holy spirit!!! ( i have not come up with a name) i discuss with him. yesh. and shared christ with amelia. and guess what?? SHE RECIEVED CHRIST!!!! SO AMAZING!!!!! GOD IS GREAT, ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GREAT!! HAHAHAH!! shall wirte an encouragement card to amelia after this.

ANYWAY, SHALL REPLY TAG HERE.

lenus: come my house la. if you go upstairs. what if you come down and buy food then bump into your mother?? right?? hahha. make sense right?? haha

ame: i know where were you la. in school for FNN camp but al you people do is do computer work right?? hhahahaha. so cham la. hahhahaha. next time should coem to my camp instead. SO MUCH FUN LA.

ZAN: yOz lIaN. i kNoW YoU mIsS Me rIgHt?? HaHa. I'M BaCk aLrEaDy lA. rEmEmBeR WhAt We wAnT To bUy oKaYy?? HAHAHAHHAHAHA

shu: I'M BACK ALREADY!!! MISS ME RIGHT???? HAHAHA. I MISS YOU TOO LA!!! HAHAH

SIYOU: YESH YESH. I REALLY DIDNT REGRET GOING AT ALL LA. IT'S LIKE. NIF I DIDNT GO RIGHT, I THINK I WILL REGRET FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?? HAHHA. AND I ENJOY MAC DONALD-ING WITH YOU. HAHHHA.

sandee: YOU STOP IT AH. YOU STOP ASKING ME TO ACT HOSANNA AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAINI AR. I ANGRY AR. HAHAHA. BUT I MYSELF FIND IT DMAN FUNNY. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. AND WE HAVEN TAKE PHOTO YET IF YOU REALISED. HAHHAAHHAHA

how???

2006-06-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

WELL WELL. tmr's church camp. what should i say?? infact. i dont know what to do. haven been attending church for quite some time. totally out of contact with almost all of them. and now that i'm actually going for this camp. i wonder what will the rest say or feel when they sees me. the most sorry-ing thing is, what am i gonna say when see them, especially the people in west. it'll be DAMN awkward i swear. and what am i going to say to god? what?? that i'm sorry?? i am but i'm not really planning to go back. at lease not now. i feel that i'm going for a camp that i'm totally not involve in. if you know what i mean. i know nuts about it. aarrgg. fucked up. though jinqi say that she'll stay by my side. but i'm sure she'll have her own event to host. what ami gonna do then?? shit. this is my church yet i'm feeling like i'm a total stranger. more then anyone. more then anything. i dont have the sense of belonging anymore. should i go?? but i'll be damn outkast.

SAVE SAVE SAVE

2006-06-05T10:07:00.000+08:00

things i need to save money for the month

1) green adidas jacket
2) phone bill
3) chalet
4) church camp
5) alot of tibits for church camp
5) xman

and now, things i need to save money to buy asap

1) bigger adidas bag
2) a new adidas training shoe
3) green nike towel
4) milk bottle (i swear it's damn cute)
5) more fbt(s)
6) more cover-ankle socks for training
7) knee guard
8) ankle guard

WHOA. not alot of things what. and i'm gonna save like shit. really. i'm not going to spend money on food. that is for sure. SO. if that works. i'll have money in anytime. WOOHOO.

OMIGOD!!

2006-06-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

went for blood donation today. first. they gave me an injection. it's purpose is to numb my hand. so that when they place the needle in i wont feel the pain. but, alot of numb i'm feeling?? i can feel the whole needle going into my vein and i definately and feel the pain that is NOT suppose to be there okayy. but it was alright. whatever

oh yeah, come on. the 3 hours of "20TH ANNIVERSARY DINNER" is waayyyyyy tooooo boring. I SWEAR. and one thing. did anyone set the rule that girls HAVE to wear dress?? NO RIGHT?? then why is everyone asking me "why you wear pants?" i do not know. but there is one thing i know for sure is that "I'M DAMN IRRITATED". that i almost wanted to "curse and swear" at them okayy. like puh-lease?? hahaha. whatever!!! okayy. dont jix.

anyway. took ALOT of photos with my "LP" (lesbian partner). she was like the first one who run to me once i step into school and go "NIC!! TAKE PHOTO TAKE PHOTO!!" haha. i thought she only want to take once. but no, it's one after one. NEVER ENDING.

anyhow, the food took YEARS to come okayy. i wsa like SO hungry. so i msg km and told her that the dinner's way to boring and i would rather go home and cook noodle. watevr.

i'm damn tired. so i'm gonna go and sleep now.

.

2006-06-01T23:31:00.001+08:00

i know i have talked much about my mum but i'm still gonana talk about her in this entry. JUST HOW MANY TIMES MUCH SHE TALK ABOUT THE REHEARSAL?? I MEAN COME ON LA. FOR FUCK YOU WANT TO KEEP STRESSING ME ABOUT THE REHEARSAL?? IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE FOR US DURING THE REHEARSAL ITSELF, THEN YOU DONT COME AND TALK SO MUCH OKAYY?? YOU THINK VERY EASY ISIT?? YOU DONT KNOW HOW TIRED AND HOW HARD IT IS. YOU DONT KNWO ANYTHING!! AND EVERYDAY I COME HOME. YOU START YOUR NAGGING AGAIN ANF AGAIN. COME ON LA. YOU DONT SEE ME GOING FOR REHEARSAL DOESNT MEANS THAT I NEVER GO RIGHT?? YOU DONT SEE ME PRACTISING IT AT HOME DOESNT MEANS THAT I DONT CARE RIGHT?? WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS JUMP INTO CONCLUSION?? MAY I KNOW?? I DONT LIKE YOU OKAYY. YOU ARE NOT LIKE THAT. YOU USED TO BE VERY UNDERSTANDING AND WON'T DO THINGS THAT YOU DO NOW. YOU SAID THAT I'VE CHANGED. WHAT ABOUT YOU THEN?? I'M VERY VERY SICK AND TIRED OF LIFE LIKE THIS OKAYY. WHY MUST I BE SO CONCIOUS ABOUT THINGS THAT I SAY NOW?? WHY IS IT THAT I CANT TALK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WITH YOU ANYMORE?? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MAKE YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME?? I HATE SPEAKING OF YOU LIKE THIS BUT YOU HAVE BECAME SOMEONE I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND. IT SEEMS LIKE WHATEVER I DO WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY. I NOLONGER KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL PLEASE. NOT ANYMORE. THE REASON WHY I AM ALWAYS OUT IS BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO QUARREL ANYMORE AND I DONT LIKE IT WHEN YOU VENT YOUR ANGER ON ME.

mentally and physically tired!!

2006-05-30T16:24:00.000+08:00

Tmr's competition yet i'm not doing anything to it. NOT even running. can just die. really. can we win?? this is the question. we're playing against SSS (Singapore Sports School) tmr. WHOA!! some say we can. some say dunno. i say i'll hope so. HAHAHA.

being feeling very irritated this few days. cuz of who?? the women in my house. something must have gone wrong. SO wrong that she kept venting her anger on us. or rather, me. like fuck. what's her problem seriously. she's the one that keep complaining about me not having a phone that cause so much trouble for her to reach me. NOW i subscribe a line on my own. SHE compaint that i can handle my own bill. FUCK la. tell me what you want now?? what MUST i do to satisfy you?? you want me out of the house isit?? i wont clean the house, cause i dont find it dirty AT ALL. as simple as that. even if you find it dirty, i still wont. know why?? cuza i dont know what's your defination of CLEAN. so what's the point when no matter how many times i clean. you'll still find it dirty?? agree?? and please dont blame me for having so much activities during this holiday. cuz it's not like i want it. it's not like i dont want to have fun to go out and stuff. GET IT RIGHT!! and one more thing. i'm already very stress about the performance. all the rehearsals and stuff. so if you say that your trying to be an understanding mum. this is a chance for you. STOP REMINDING ME ABOUT REHEARSALS EVERY MINUTE. sometimes is not that i want to give you attitude. it is the way you KEPT talking about it. how many times are you intending to repeat may i know?? this is damn FUCK. serious. alright. chill

know what?? i cant go malaysia. why? cuz almost everyday of my holiday. i'm havign something on. rehearsals, training, chalet, competitions, tuitions and performance. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! damn packed. so it's not really a holiday that i'm looking forward to. but i hope i'll be able to look at it the positive way still. =))

and now. i have to hide this feeling that i'm dying to reveal. i know she's trying to get something out of me. BUT i'm sorry dear. i can't. i have to be selfish for now. and i wont let you have what you want till the time is right. all the pain that your going through. i'm going double. so don't jix. HAHAHAHAHAHA. and please stop saying that she's cute. it is irritating me. i know this is what you wan. but i wont show it to you. i dont wanna lose in this game AGAIN!! =))

tired

2006-05-26T12:57:00.000+08:00

camp is coming up. i'm gonna be so damn tired. why?? i've got to help out at SRC in the morning till 7pm. then rush down to camp. sun camp. dinner with dad. mon netball camp. tues netball camp. rehearsal at night. and i have to miss the party. AARRGG. fucked up isnt it??

need to study and train now. HAHAHAHA. competitioin and 'N' is drawing nearer each day. think i've slacked enough. time to fight again. WOOHOO!!

i wont ask for your heart, hand, mind, kiss, hug nor touch.
course all i need is the sight of you, to make my day!! ilu

nts

2006-05-23T15:16:00.000+08:00

what do you do when you have to forget someone that is unforgettable?
what do you do when you have to befriend with someone that is more than a friend?
what do you do when you have to smile at that someone when tears filled your eyes?
what do you do when you have to deny you love that someone when that someone is all that you can see?
what do you do when you have to act like you dont bother when that someone means more than anything?
what do you do?

now, what do you do when that someone wants to get back when you finally decide to forget?
now, what do you do when that someone thinks you didnt keep your promise of waiting?

will you give that someone a chance even if you know that someone wiont love you for long?
will you give that someone a chance even knowing that you'll be the one who gets hurt in the end?
will you give that someone a chance even knowing that that someone is not serious and true?
will you give that someone a chance?

why do i still allow this feeling to grow when i know this wont lead me to anywhere?
why do i still hold on to this feeling when it is dead clear that it is worthless?
why do i still miss when that someone thinks of other?
why do i still hoping for a second coming when everyone knows that is impossible?
why do i still?

when will be the day when i'm free from all this mixed feelings?
when will be the day when that someone gets clear off my mind?
when will be the day?

thought she brings nothing but hurts and uncertains
i will still wait
till the day when i dont even know what i'm doing all this for
then THAT will be the day when i forget about you

again

2006-05-19T09:32:00.000+08:00

i realised that i have been blogging quite alot this while. ohwell, anyway. i just feel like talking about rach for the last time. and why am i talking about her?? it's the 18th yesterday. i didnt wish her anything. i didnt even contact her. i guess i am the only on ewho remember the 18th now. i doubt she bothers. whatever. she's kinda pissing me off now. for thinking i'm a looney that will chase her round the whole bukit batok. LOSER!!. feel like writing a song now. HA! HA! HA! HA!

okayy. i dont want to dwell over this non-existing love!! but whether she did loved me before is still a desire question i wanna ask. rach rach rach. what makes you whole?? what makes you love?? forget it. it's not like i bother. HA! HA! HA!

i think i should go on a "forget-rachel" trip. okayy. shall make my malaysia trip a "forget-rachel" trip then. HA! HA! HA! why is it so hard claer her off my mind is a mystery to me. oh man. how i wish i could have a stable r/s. then this wont happen!! HA! HA! HA!

i miss her. but i dont want to. it's a waste of time and it's wasting my love. it's all not worth it.

i shall just go find a baboon and marry it. HA! HA! HA!

i think i will continue liking her. hahahh. but this will be the last time i post about her publicitically. =))

so ill say, goodbye to you
goodbye to everything i knew
you were the one i heart
one thing i tried to hold on to

but i'm letting you go my dear!!

SMILE NICOLE!! YOU'VE GOT NICOLE TO LOVE YOU NICOLE!!

NICOLE LOVES NICOLE!!!
NICOLE LOVES NICOLE!!!
NICOLE LOVES NICOLE!!!

so unfrogetable

2006-05-19T08:44:00.000+08:00

went shu's house yesterday course mum was giving me attitude and started scolding once she reached home. didnt want to quarrel with her. i;m sick and tired of telling her things over and over again when she dont serms like she understands or rather WANT to understand. why cant she spare a thought for me?? how can she compares me to some kids that is not even her child?? i cant stand it when she kept praising other kids that they are good, well mannered etc..... then i'm sorry but to tell you that going to a good school and greets you whenever they see you doesnt make them a GOOD child. i dont hear you praising me when i got to st margs. i dont understand why you dislike me so much. i dont understand why you HAVE to put me down with your words. i tried to see it as a form of motivation but i'm sorry i cant.

if it's the past. i understand. because i'm really a worry to the family. i know that myself. but now?? didnt i changed?? sisnt i changed to the kind of child that you wish and pray to have?? but, you'll never be satisfied with me. even when i studied so hard. even when i became a prefect. even when i goes to tze chi with you even when i'm a christian. how many things must i do. do gain your love again?? man. why am i using the word "gain" when this love is what i should have.

because of tze chi. you neglected me just incase if you didnt know. i'm sorry mama, that bringing to tze chi doesnt mean that bonding. because your only concerned with other kids whom you call them YOUR CHILD. i've told you that i feel very neglected, didnt i?? but what have you do to make it up?? NOTHING!! you said that i dont know what your doing. you said that the reason why i feel this way is because i dont understand. tell me now what you want me to understand?? tell me what you expect me to understand when you dont come home because of tze chi meeting?? what you expect me to understand when you place tze chi even before us?? you set yourself mobilize for tze chi. even when it's my prize presentation day. you choosed to go for your MEETING instead of coming to support me. just incase you didnt know. it is not the prize that i am bothered about. but the present of yours mama. it is the MOMENT. that i want to show you. that i'm chhanged. i am doinog what she wish her child to be. YET all you did was telling me that you know? tell me what do you know?? how well do you know about me now?? you know nuts. because you REFUSED to lidten to me anymore. JUST BECAUSE your the leader now. your a wei yuan now. your in-charged or many things. SO YOUR NEGLECTING ME AND EXPECT ME TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE EVERYTHING ON MY OWN!! BUT WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN I MAKE DECISIONS MYSELF?? YOU SAID THAT I DONT RESPECT YOU BECAUSE I DID NOT SEEK FOR YOUR ADVISE. TELL ME NOW!! WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN I HAVE THINGS TO DISCUSS WITH YOU?? WILL YOU CARE?? NO!!

gimme one good reason why must i go home early?? when you yoursel fis not at home?? why is it that i have to tell you how's my life when all you think is that i'm wasting my time with friends?? lemme tell you why i'm always with my friends instead of you. because my friends cares and listen to my problem. have you been doing this?? no. even since you joined tze chi. you forgotten that you have a family. you've forggoten that you have a son and a daughter.

we are becoming like strangers. i wouldn't be surprise if i see myself loitering outside with my bag soon. until my mum's back

fucked up!!

2006-05-18T16:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes (i meant most of the time), my mother is damn annoying. when she wants me to do something. she wont say it directly. instead of "can you tidy up the house?", she will say "what have you been doing the whole day at home?" agree?? so when i answer her by saying "i watched the vcd and went online, why?". she will go "YOU STAYED AT HOME THE WHOLE DAY AND YOU DIDNT TIDY UP THE HOUSE?". and i wil say "you didnt ask me to tudy up the house what." and all mother will say the same thing "i didnt ask you doesnt mean that you cannnot tidy up the house right?" er. you tell me, why would i tidy up the house for nothing and out of a sudden?? or even if the house is not messy at all?? i dont see a point of doing so actually =)). when she comes home later. i know what's up. she will start talking to herself. which is talking to you indirectly. LOUD enough for you and your neighbour to hear. if you get what i mean. probably she will go "all you know to do is watch tv, go out, use the computer...... say you will help me out, count on you i might as well live on myself....." i think everyone agrees to this right?? yess

anyway, i'm damn bored now. i have been home the whole day. and i'm starting to feel tired. even waking up at 1. HA HA HA HA. i feel holiday now. oh man. i think i'm going to malaysia during the holiday. know why?? because my mum will want me to do housework and stuff like that. SORRY!! dont think i'm damb okayy. i know. so, i am going to malaysia!!! HAHAHAHAHA. and i know that i wont be able to sand her annoying-ness.

hmmm

2006-05-17T17:14:00.000+08:00

know what. i realised that ng always talk to me while i'm blogging. hahaha. OUT OF POINT!!. whatevr it is. i'm quite bored. OH. i want to protest. tmr's my school's polling (spelling?) day. which means there's no need to go school right?? BUT MY WHOLE CLASS HAVE TO!! for what?? COOK!!!!!!! can you imagine?? go to school to cook?? this is damn boring okayy. from 8 to 4. crazy?? i totally agree. =))

anyway, somehing must be wrong with my nose. it kept dripping. and i find it weird. because i'm not having flu or whatever so why it keep tearing is a mystery to me.

BURNT!!

2006-05-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

went sentosa with ame, km, shu, kay, zan and skye. al went down the water except for me. WHY? cuz i'm having my period. 2ND day somemore. very nice what. but it's ok. i still get to tan. =)) went town after that. slack like craze. BUT, we definately enjoy our day. cuz we went round tricking passerby(s). it's damn funny i swear.

anyway. i'm serious about forgetting her. because i cant stand the way she react when she sees me. she will NOT look at me even for ONCE. she will talk to everyone except for me. is there a need to do so?? for the past. i can understand. but i dont even like her now right? so why is she doing now?? is there a must for her to think that i still like her or whatever?? i'm saying here that I FUCKING DONT ANYMORE ok?? stop making sucha big fuss. i'm been nice here treating you like a normal friend. which we agreed on. but if this is the way you wanna treat me means i've got nothing else to say but treat you like someone i dont know too. provided you dont feel awkward. i seriously dont see why you MUST behave this way. tell me what shall i do. nothing i do seems to please you. even when i tried. you just dont know / care, do you?? if only you know what i'm going through then you'll understand that everything that i do is only for this friendship and hoping that we can still be friends.

boring!!

2006-05-15T10:52:00.000+08:00

i'm at home now. getting damn bored. maybe skipping school today aint a good choice. maybe there's more interesting event on in school and i'm missing it. well, i dont give a damn. i just wanna rest. REST REST REST. and i dont know why. i cant seems to be able to get my mind off studying. mid year has just ended and i'm gonna prepare for my prelim and N now. i really pray so that all this things that i'm doing now is worth it. i really want to get A for all. i wanna get 8 for N level. please tell me that this is possible. really. please!!

kiss goodbye

2006-05-14T18:19:00.000+08:00

baby bu yao zai ku qi
zhe yi mu duo me shou xi
jing qo zhe ni de shou bi ci dou she bu de fen li
mei yi qi xiang kai kou dan bu ru bao ci an jing
gei wo yi fen zhong juan xin
hao hao xin shang ni de mei

xing fu da pei bei shang
tong shi zai wo xin jiao cha
zuo zhe de yan lei bu neng zhe shi ai de zhong liang
fu chu de ai shou bu hui
ai qian ni de wo bu neng gei
bei ba wo xing ye bai zou
qu gen sui

*mei yi ci he ni fen kai
shen shen de bei ni da bai
mei yi ci fang qi ni de wen rou tong ju nan yi shi huai
mei yi ci he ni fen kai mei yi ci kiss yougoodbye
ai qing de zhi weii ci ke wo zhogn yu zui ming bai

xing fu da pei bei shang
tong shi zai wo xing jiao cha
zuo zhe de yan lei bu neng zhe shi ai de zhong liang
fu chu de ai shou bu hui
ai qian ni de wo bu nend gei
wo cai ming bai ai qing zzhen shi de zi wei

*mei yi ci he ni fen kai
sheng sheng de bei ni da bai
mei yi ci fang qi ni de wen rou tong ku nan yi shi huai
mei yi ci he ni fen kai
mei yi ci kiss yougood bye
ai qing de zi wei ci ke wo zhong yu zui ming bai

for the one whm i took the flight with

2006-05-14T17:38:00.000+08:00

hope you'll read this. =))

firstly, i hope you know i'm really sorry about the whole thing. i deeply feel bad about it

but please hear me out. well, i didnt not forget about the promise we made. in fact, i have never forget about anything we promised. trust me for that. really. you know that your not just a normal friend to me right?? as in, we are friends that gone through something most friend didnt go through?? get what i mean?? which makes me treasure this friendship more. i hope you know about this. but apparetly, we aint that close ever since school starts. and that's quite saddening. of cuz, i understand that we both have busy schedule. you have band and i have netball to handle. but this must have kept us too busy that we forgotten that we have not been touching up with each other. agree?? we promised to keep each other update about each other's life. but we forgot about that too. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT IT. AND I'M NOT SAYING FOR THE SAKE OF SAYING IT ONLY. I MEANT IT.

so when you told me that you know about the incident. i was really shocked. because i did not know that you still aware of what's going on with my life. which makes me feel really bad. i know your hurted that i did not tell you about this. well, i didnt really intend not to. the thing has ended for quite awhile and i'm still recoverying from it. the whole thing happen too fast and it ended fast too. which is why it's quite a misery to me now.

well, i hope you wont feel so bad. this is really one struggle to me. i hope you understand alright?? i realised that this is the second time we so-called quarell. i hope this is the last time. i still love you my dear friend!!

???

2006-05-13T10:51:00.000+08:00

well. something mr brother asked me the other day makes me wonder. it went like this

mum: where did you go?

me: my friend's house

mum: who is your friend?

me: from st margs.

mum: how come your always with them nowadays?

me: why a weird question? cuz they are my friends? and we have been studyign tgt?

bro: oh. then after exam will have a new group of friends la? (he find it funny)

me: not funny la ok. you dont know wahat i;m going through

bro: i know. you have friends everywhere, but none of them stayed. none of them you can share your troubles with

me: what makes you think that i dont have frineds that i can share my troubles with now?

bro: ya la. now only la. i realised that all your so called true friend is all periodmental. i've never heard you speaking of the same friend for more then a year

me: if i have firends that allows me to stay, do you think that i have to keep looking for a true friend?

bro: thats what i have been saying. you dont have a true friend. in another words. you are a loner

ok. here's the question. where does the problem lies? me or what?? damn. it's so true. what am i gonna do now? exam's over. you think i can still meet them everyday?? when will this last till?? i really wonder. wil this carry on or like my brother say, it's only periodmental?? why dont someone just tell me when can i have a true friend that will stay? wouldnt it bbe easier?

MAPLE!!

2006-05-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

paper was SCREWED UP!!! darn!! no joke. i left a 7 marks question blank. and i meant B-L-A-N-K, BLANK. cuz i understand nuts about what the questoin is asking. it's alright. just fucked up.

anyway, went gaya's house. with km, shu, zan, ame and kay. THEY WERE SUPPOSE TO DO THEIR ART AND F&N. Ooo. alot of studying and drawing what. hahah. slack like shit. and even slept. couldn't be blamed. her house is really nice and her bed is the best man. it's BIG and COMFORTABLE. i wish my bed could be that big. but my room confirm can put in what. confirm can.

shu and kay helped me create an account for maple!! HOOLALA!! i can finally play maple. after so long and so many time of trying to create a new account?? whatever. was playing it just now. it's fun. everything is fun EXCEPT the SNAILS AND MUSHROOMS. OMG. they are really damn annoying okayy. and this bloody ass stole my apple. damn annoying. hahahaha. whatevr, i'm waiting for maple to finnish downloading so i can play. woohoo.

OH. mama's not home yet. she's miss-ing her DA CHANG JIN. hahahaha. so sad. too bad.

woohoo

2006-05-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

YO!!

HAPPY BDAE TO SHU!!! happy 17 =))

anyway, went town to celeberate shu's bdae. we watched "take the lead". OMG. IT'S DAMN FUCKING NICE OKAYY. i really like dancing movies. it's funny, sweet and nice. okayy. i know that's a very general comment. watever. hahaha.

tmr's the last paper. and i cant wait to celeberate it. my goodness. it's only mid-year and i'm getting so stressed up. prelims and N level means.......

i cant wait for training to start. my goodness. i feel like a fatty ok. i haven been exercising even since training stop okayy or not. haiyoh. like one fatty now. not like i was nevr one. hahahha

friend. that's all we need to be. dont want anything more.

??

2006-05-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

shall i go back to central?? i feel that like i'm always stuck. i always say that i wanna be a sheperd, wanna start a cg in school. but look at what am i doing ok. just look, i'm doing everything but this ok.

but i dont wanna go back to central now, cuz it seems like i dont grow , thoguh the fact is yes, i'm not growing. and the fact that i'm still in west is rathering comforting myself that at lease i'm still in west. knwo what i mean?

and the truth is that. i'm fucking sinning now. and i dont wana sing the praise and agree to the pastor and clap when there's converts when i'm fucking sinning. if you know what i mean. i'm at this crossroad now. whereby i'm suppose to decide when which road i'm gonna take. forget about rachel and go back to church. let everything be. or just continue what i'm doing now. continue liking rachel. when there's no point of doing so cuz the whole world knows that rachel wont come back to me ever again.

and i feel like just letting it be. i dont wanna do anything. i'm so tired. of thinking about this and that and get all upset over things that's happening.

fuck. did i mention that i hate making choices?? and i hate it when my life is screwed. and this is exactly what's happening to my life. BLOOD SCREWED UP!!!

=((

2006-05-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

For all the years that I’ve known you baby
I can’t figure out the reason why lately
you’ve been acting so cold (didn’t you say)
if there’s a problem we should work it out
so why you giving me the cold shoulder now
like you don’t want to talk to me girl (tell me)
okay I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
but why you making this thing drag on so long (I wanna know)
I’m sick and tired of this silly game
don’t think that I’m the only one here to blame
it’s not me who’s been going round slamming doors

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

I know that I’ve made a few mistakes
but never thought things would turn out this way
doesn’t make sense to me now that you’re gone (I see it all so clearly)
me at the door with you in a state
giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

That’s when you turned and said to me
I don’t care babe who’s right or wrong
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just don’t love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you’re gone, my fault, I’m sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it’s too late to turn it around
I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don’t love you no more

OMG!!

2006-05-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

HAHHAHA. I'M DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN HAPPY.

CUZ I TALKED TO HER TODAY!!! HAHAHAHAHHA

not too much but i'm happy that we are improving. and it bette stay this way!! hahaha. man.

i seriously thought that i can get over her. BUT, so much of getting over now what. hahha.
i've think it through. since be it i want to or dont want to forget about her. i shal just stay put. let it be. i''m not gonna force myself to do anything now.

OH MAN!!!!! I MISS RACH!!!

oh no!!

2006-05-04T11:35:00.000+08:00

know what?? i cant finnish my math paper 1!!! though only one person in my class can finnish it but i dont care. i dont like this feeling. good or bad. cant tell. but i practiced for it. maybe i didn't do enough for it. aarrgg. i don't want to screw my paper up okayy!! fuck it man. i dont know why am i so stress. maybe i know. whatever. it's only mid-year nicole. i hear it almost from everyone. but still. i did badly for my CA1. if i dont show improvement in my mid. that's it man. my hopes will be gone. really. i cant stand seeing my results so sucky. i dont think anyone can tahan. right?

anyway, i'm kinda glad that rach and i is starting to talk. instead of pretending like we dont know each other. when i see her. i dont know what i feel. i wanna laugh. but laugh cuz i'm happy that i see her and now that we are talking or laugh cuz i "she bu de". you know what i mean? mixed feelings. hahhaha. whatever it is. i miss her. for now only

I'M A SUPERWOMEN!!

oh no

2006-05-01T11:46:00.000+08:00

muffy's gone. evelyn took her to the home instead. though, sometimes she's irritating. vomit, pee and shit everywhere. but other then that. she's actually quite cute. man. i'm so sad. i'm gonna miss muffy. that fat cat. hahahha. oh no. muffy muffy muffy. she look so cute when she's trying to hint you to scretch for her? so damn cute. sigh. no more muffy, no more scretch. no more meow-ing at 530 am. oh yeah, this is one very strange thing. 530 am is the time i wake up during weekdays. and every weekday morning, muffy will sit outside my door and started meow-ing for damn long till either i wake up or my mum wakes up. strange right?? i dunno if she's really smart or she's just hungry at that time. hahhahaha.

say it good say it bad

2006-04-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

as days go by
my feelings for her has fade
say it's good say it's bad
i don't know and dont wish to know it too

now that she like another
is it part of her or it just happen to be like this?
it's quite confusing huh?
say it good say it bad
may it's a blessing in disguise that i was the one who call it off

although i said that i will get over her
but can i think about her once in a while?
it's hard not to think about it sometimes
can i ask how she's doing sometimes?
just want to know.
no other meaning
say it good say it bad
she will be a friend afterall

whoaa

2006-04-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

there must be something i ate or smell that makes me so hyper now. i did not sleep yesterday night to practise my english paper. btu today, i was like hyper then usual. something's wrong. anyway. let's give an update about what happen yesterday. didnt go school yest. was tired. went studying first then to cut hair. this is the part man. i told that auntie that i want to cut my hair short and layer it. this is what happen. she look at my hair, FROWN. it's alright. then she started to do that "tsu tsu tsu" sound?? but she wont tel you why. she will just keep on continue doing it. nvm. after she's done, i asked her to cut a bit shorter. she cut like 0.5 inch shorter?? whoa. apparently i dont think she understands what i'm talking about?? and didnt i say that i want to layer my hair. so much of layering what. and now, i look like one nerd. those who look studious kind?? my god, it's so not me and it looks damn weird on me la. i cant stand it. i feel like pulling my hair out. really. when you see me, you wil know. you might even want to kill me right on the spot.

so in conclusion. i'm gonna ask my mum to cut it for me. and i pray and pray and pray that she'll do it well.

that's it

2006-04-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

that's it okayy!! i'm not gonna tolerate this anymore okayy.
i am not gonna let you affect my studies like nobody's business anymore
i, nicole au. annouce that from this moment on. YEONG will be out of my mind. once and for all. yeong no more man!! i cant stand everything yeong is doing. i once doubt, then believed. but in the end. everything should be left clear.

whatever, exam is next week. but so much of revision i'm doing what!! confirm can be the top man. hahha. well, i mean sarcasticlly.

tmr's english oral. WHOA!!! i seriously hate it when i have to stay back after school okayy. except for training days. hoolala. i feel like a fattyy!! i better train well before SRC starts again.

what happen??

2006-04-22T10:56:00.000+08:00

you were there
to give me tender love and care
giving your best to make me your most beloved
tolerated all my tantrum
understanding all my thinking that might not even make sense to you
cheering me up cos it hurts you to see me sad

but i didnt care,
about a single thing you want to do for me
without knowing i needed you so much
i worte you a letter
to sent you away

now that your gone
then, i realised
it is you that make my day
it is your messages that put that smile on my face
it is your call, your voice that kept my dreams sweet

this have to stop
i've got to get you back
because i feel miserable
you stop calling, messaging and meeting me
i missed you so much

but my letter must have hurt so much
that you dont want me anymore
i must have set an impression on you that i wont bring anything but hurt
no matter what i do
you'll never be moved again
you wont even think about me anymore
you will never message me
there is nothing to talk about even when i call you
you wont even look at me when you know i'm just behind

it's all because a letter worte
i lose you
everything of yours

i just hope for a second chance
and i promise you that nothing or such will ver happen again
that i will no longer do anything that will hurt you

even if you dont want to be with me anymore
can you at lease talk to me?
can you at lease tell me how your feeling?
i just want to know.
if your fine

i miss you so much
that nothing make sense to me
no words can discribe how i feel

when will this stop?

i'm home!!

2006-04-18T13:54:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! was so tired, so decided to fake cramp, so that i can come home. hahha. that's kinda bad. but i've only skipped english and CME. not that bad after all yeah?? hahha. hope so. anyway, hope i'll be able to post this entry course i wasn't able to for the past few days. so angry. hmm.

went serene yest, to meet rica to pass her thing, along with ame, zan and kaya. rach was with her friends. hmmm. had quite alot of fun. hahha. we were supppose to study but as usual nothing of such happen. we were joking and all. i kinda enjoy it. as in, i always enjoy times with st margs people. it makes me feel so home. whoa!!!!!

exam's round the corner and i haven really start studying. i feel damn bad okay. so i've planned to sleep now. wake up at about like ten. then i shall study. night has less distruction than any other day time of you realise. hahha. it's only SA1 and i'm already hoping for N level to end. hahahha. i dont know if i will miss bbss when i leave school but, somehow i'll feel relieve i guess. like finally, i'm done with secondary school. which was suppose to be like, two years ago? sigh.

i'm missing raymond!!!! <-- dont mistaken. this is not my boyfriend or whatever, i dont know anyone by the name of raymond. it's just some inside joke.

finally

2006-04-03T21:23:00.000+08:00

well, i'm glad that i make this choice. it isnt a easy one to decide. but still, i dont want to continue. i feel so stress. i feel like the water is reaching my nose and i'm struggling to cattch my breath. if you know what i mean. not only this actully, i've been feeling this way almost towards everything in my life. everything seems like a struggle to me.

i realised that i cant control myself. i give in too much. GOD. i hate my life. i've stuck in this juction for wayy too long. when can i get out of here. when will i be able to change? i'm sick and tired of having passion that fate off after a couple of days.

everytime i see my results dropping. i'm so scared. i'm about to break down. but why is it that i dont see myself studying hard?? why am i still wasting my life away?? what happen to nicole? i dont know.

i have so many things so clear. and it's making my head explode. i feel really stress. SO STRESS THAT I WAN TO BREAK DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE MY LIFE!!!
I HATE MYSELF!!
I HATE THE DEVIL WITHIN!!!!
I HATE MY WEAKNESS!!
I HATE IT WHEN I CANT CONTROL MYSELF!!!

boohoo!!

2006-03-31T21:43:00.000+08:00

EVERYONE!!! -BUG WAVE-

i think i should update about my life. hmmm. everything's going on well i guess?? just abit stuck. why? hmmm. feel that i'm not improving. feeling that i have not shown improvement in studies and netball. what happen to you nicole?? didnt you say that you wanna improve??

sigh. know what?? sometimes i just hate myself. so much. everytime i say that i wanna change. it seems to only happen for a week or something. i dont know what the hell is wrong with myself.

it;s time to get back to god. it's time to stop resting and move on. i wanted to have a CG in school didnt i?? i want to be the first for N level this year isn't it? i want to improve in netball didnt i??

nicole. you really have to put all your concentration on this three things now. you really have to put all those bad thoughts away. you have not much time to waste.

it has been long

2006-03-03T14:05:00.000+08:00

not much thing to blog tho. oh. i have a pimple in my ear. and it's hurting me like hell. aarrg. i hate pimples okayy. i shall ask god why he created pimples in the first place. haha

anyway, i feel so bad. for not studying for my common test hard enough. and know what?? last year, i'm always first for english. but now? i'm like the top 20 or something?? i honestly have to do something about it man. haha. well. i can't blame anyone other then me. cuz i haven been studying the way i should ever since school start. hmm

about SRC. i hasn't got any confirmation if i'm in or not. because the person-in-charge hasn't talk to me yet. but they just ask me go for training. hhaha. and now, i just pray and pray that i will be able to get in. because i realised that they are really good. in terms orf skills and people. their training's good. like. you learn things that you dont learn in school. like their training can make you improve and stuff?? which i think is really good. at lease it makes me feel that i did improve. hahhaha. and about the people. they are nice people. they tlak to you. crazy with you and stuff. hahha. good.

about school. the same old thing. i hate that guy. his still as irritating as ever. and i hate it when he actually DISCUSS during the test. and yet he has the cheek to defend himself when we ask him to keep quiet by syaing that he dont knwo that's why his asking around. HELLO. YOUARE HAVING A TEST. NOT A DISCUSSION. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? and it has totally no concern with you why i am still in school. i am way much beter then you.

SO WHAT IF I AM 19 AND STILL IN SCHOOL. AT LEASE I AM CHERISHING THIS CHANCE. I AM STUDYING. ACHEIVING GOOD GRADES BY STUDYING HARD AND NOT CHEATING IT HARD. AT LEASE I AM NOW A PREFECT, SERVING THE SCHOOL AND NOT BRINGING THE SCHOOL'S REPUTATION DOWN BY SMOKING OUTSIDE SCHOOL IN SCHOOL UNIFORM LOITERING IN SCHOOL UNIFORM WITH BAD COMPANIES. I GET INVOLVE IN CCA SO THAT I WON'T WASTE MY TIME. I APOOLOGISE WHEN THE TEACHER THINKS I TALK TOO LOUD AND NOT SCOLD THE TEACHER BACK BY SAYING THINGS LIKE "EH!! WHAT?? JUI BA BU SHI NA LAI JIANG HUA NA SHI LAI ZUO SHEN ME??" I THINK THIS IS DAMN CHILDISH. I DON'T LISTEN TO THE MP3 OR IPOD IN CLASS AND BLAZE IT TO THE MAX IN CLASS BECAUSE FIRSTLY, WE ARE NOT EVEN SUPPOSE TO LISTEN TO IT IN CLASS AND SECONDLY, IT WILL DISTURB THE CLASS. I DON'T TALK AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE LIKE AS IF I'M SCREAMING IN CLASS BECAUSE THIS IS VERY DISTURBING TO THOSE WHO WANTS TO STUYDY IN CLASS. WHEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE TEAHCER IS TEACHING, I WILL ASK AGAIN POLITELY. WHEN I TALK IN CLASS AND MISSED WHAT THE TEACHER'S TEACHING, I BLAME MYYSELF FOR NOT LISTENING IN CLASS AND NOT BLAME THE TEACHER FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO TEACH. WHEN MY FRIEND'S ON THE VERGE OF GIVING UP, I TELL THEM NOT TO AND NOT INFLUENCING THEM BY TEACHING THEM THE BAD AND IMMORAL THINGS. UNLIKE YOU. ALL YOU DO IN CLASS IS TALK, SMOKE, MAKING FUN OF OTHERS AND SLEEP. YOU THINK YOUR STILL IN SEC ONE AR? YOUR ALREADY IN SEC 4 AND YET YOUR STILL NOT STUDYING. STILL WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY.

aarrgg. i really hate people like that. and i should give myself a pat on the shoulder for surviving a year with people like that. -well done nicole-

...

2006-02-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

aiyoh. can you believe it?? training's cancelled again. hai. but i think this is god's plan. cuz i;m having tummy upset. that i have to go to the toilet every half an hour of something. i dont know what's wrong with me la. it's just so weird. so. yes. back to the point. so i think god knwos that i'm not in a good physic to train today. so training's cancelled. muahahahha. oh. and i can watch i guess i guess i guess guess guess. hhahahaha. lame